Talking to My Mother

Gold cherry
Pick of the Month

By Philip Sidney

Sat, 28 Sep 2019
  • 6330 reads
18 comments
 

Talking to my mother

is easier now she is dead -

she’d put me into orbit but

I was more of a spin-off -

not an asteroid or meteorite

on a trajectory timed to return at

say Christmas or significant birthdays -

more of a flare

causing minor irritation and best set loose to cool off in space

where they say no one can hear you

 

if it wasn’t for my face -

a lesser version of hers -

you wouldn’t think we had a connection.

I was never one for phoning or writing letters

when we were both alive -

but now

I like to talk to her

 

she’d be furious if she knew

how I unburden myself

take retrospective walks with her

trail in her shadow

beside the river

through meadow paths

as she fusses over her long dead dog

thinks her thoughts

mulls over the dark years

I sprung from

 

I’d love to drag her back from whichever black hole of eternity she is spinning through

tell her that I meant it when I said I’d never leave

 

my own children flap away

I hold onto them -

gnarly wooden peg of the family line -

they do not ask about my past

and I do not offer anything up

my mother’s daughter -

at least a smudged

carbon copy.

Certificate 12
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

You meant the title to be 'Talking' didn't you?

I remember being shocked when first meeting my in-laws to hear them say they didn't want to hold on to their children. My own parents' relationship was firm, unafraid to keep the relationship going, a good communication. In later years, I realised how longing to be more expressive of her love to them my mother-in-law was, and actually by holding herself in, it actually got a bit excessively emotional in the end. Their marriage had been a bit fraught. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Rhiannon - I shouldn’t try to multi-task.  Communication can be a tricky thing.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I remember when my eldest son went to university I was quite surprised to hear that the same month the parents of two of his friends actually went to live abroad (one in Australia)!

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Sympathise very much with your poem. I talk with my Dad in my head almost every day, though when he was alive he thought I was too daft to talk to :0)

You say you sprung from her dark years, which makes me think it was not you, but the time you reminded her of that was the problem.

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

This will strike a chord with many.  I actually wrote letters to my Mum and Dad after they were both gone, for a while.  Now I just tell them what's going on.  The 'smudged carbon copy' is a brilliant line.

Submitted by airyfairy on

This beautiful poem is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day;  Please do share/retweet if you enjoy it too.

Picture:  Pixabay Creative Commons

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Lovely, Philip Sydney. Hard not to connect with this. Nicely worked.

Parson Thru

Submitted by celticman on

yehhhhh, mother's milk in our thoughts and feelings, they never grow old. beautiful sentiments. 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you for the postive feedback everyone - and a big thank you for red cherries then gold!  Feeling very happy as I haven't posted for a while :) - Thank you mum too...

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Month - Congratulations!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much!  I'm utterly delighted! laugh

Submitted by VeraClark on

This so touching, Philip. I've not been here in an age and your poems, I see,are still very beautiful. Paradoxical contrast of not speaking in life but speaking post death captures the intricacies of mother daughter relationships on a knife tip. Good to read you.

 

Submitted by agnosticnun on

This is lovely, and I know exactly what you mean,

Kristi

Submitted by jeand on

HI

 

Lovely poem, and message. I too am a carbon copy of my mother, but we also had similar personalities, so I think she might know why I do what I do, as if she were experiencing it herself.

Thank you for sharing.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by writesdown stuff on

Does give one pause, nice. 

I regret not taking the time getting to know my Mom and Dad, and now its to late. Youth really is wasted on the young.

 

Submitted by lavadis on

I really like this. It ploughs that troublesome  yet fertile field with complete dexterity 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Just reread this. It resonates. Nicely put, too.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Tom Brown on

I think you're very fortunate but I can understand if you perhaps disagree. Also Rhiannon there at the beginning it is a great start to grow up in a balanced healthy loving family. These days it's not a given, rather the opposite then.

And it's ok to talk to your mother but I hope she doesn't talk back!

Keep well, all the best Philip! Tom Brown