Blathery bla bla

By Pink Lady

Sun, 27 Apr 2008
  • 639 reads
1 comments
 

10th March 2008
Cleaned bedroom window
Whites washing
reading
tea
moved bed
dusted plant
texted Darren lovelylovely Darren
sortedcupboard
moved fairy lights

Fear
of loss
of having nothing
of being nothing
Empty

Terror

No meaning
No purpose
Or understanding Why

No words
Nothing to share
Nothing to let anyone in to
No ideas
No opinions
No reason to

Time
stretching out
meaninglessly
Day and night
regularity
Disrupted by
my chaos
Sleep
Fear
Escape
Grasping
No space -
To face -
To plunge -
Bravely.

Everything changed for ever

Take nothing for granted
Reality's just a perception
Realised
In the spaces between
the Nothingness
of Me

Cosmic space
electron magnified
Spaces
in between

Who am I?
Why?
My mortality
a terrifying oppressive monster
crushing me in to shapes
Pushing me forward
Making me move
with time

All of life
A distraction from this
Get fitget slim
Have babies, a husband
successfulhusband, a career
own things, desire, covet
Work
Material gain
Busy keepbusykeep busy
Do do do!
Health
Count
Time
Calories
Blood pressure
Plastics
Count
Spend
Commodify
Worry
Worry
Be responible
Change
Act
The burden is on me
To save
spend
Wisely
Conscientiously

Wise
conscious
Impact
Belonging
Part of
Your world.

Face this -
Your world means nothing to me

that's what Stands
me
apart
and next to him,
together
our world
our world

Beyond words, world
being
we are beings
leaves and seas
self construction
awareness
separateness
then unity.

And this is where comfort finally lies,
Not in activities of your world,
And then in just those activities,
Differently

I am changed
I am the same
I am you
I am me
The world is perception
My mind chemical and electrical
What I think and feel
All fluid.
Where am I?
Why?
What do I want?
Why does that matter?

Understanding
Safety
Safety
Safety

Where there is none
And at any moment I might dissipate
And be this
collection
no more
My body - vehicle
My self - crash

Finally
My fear realised
- I am precious
to myself -
curious
whatwhowhat/who

The rain has begun
The forecast is a storm
I hear the wind
And the radiator,
I see bricks
and air,
I am part of
All all of
This.
I belong.

Certificate PG
Poem
Darren
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by The Mystic on
Interesting theme. Something which we all should think about often. Some lines like 'reality is just a perception' and 'regularity disrupted by my chaos' I really enjoyed. A piece of advice (although I am no good to be giving advice to other) the first half of the poem is sort of carrying a slow tone where as the last half's pace become faster and the style somewhat changes... if that was not your intention, you may like to make both the halves more uniform (atleast in style; if not in pace?) Overall a good read. Thanks for sharing it with us.