Only we Know...
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By PoetonaHill
- 2609 reads
Only we Know...
The stranger did not start the fight today.
New man in town, come looking for a job,
he prayed for God to take the gang away.
He’d find some digs, a place to plan and stay,
but found himself confronted by the mob.
The stranger did not start the fight today.
Demanding cash and cards they barred his way.
When blows were thrown by devil-snarling yob
he prayed for God to take the gang away.
They classed him as a thing that they could slay
in mindless hate, a cur to beat and rob.
The stranger did not start the fight today.
Their feet and fists flew frenzied in the fray.
In fear he fought and felled a drunken slob.
He prayed for God to take the gang away.
Now, left alone with corpse as cold as clay,
a figure kneels, still choking on a sob.
The stranger did not start the fight today.
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Comments
The rhythm and rhyming scheme
The rhythm and rhyming scheme really draw the reader in to the story, and convey the sense of being trapped. Very sad.
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Very moving and, sadly, vivid
Very moving and, sadly, vivid of stupid hate that happens. Skilful use of form too. Rhiannon
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airyfairy has described it so
airyfairy has described it so well and I couldn't agree more. Congratulations, this is our Facebook/Twitter pick of the day. Please like and share if you enjoyed it too.
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I hate it that he prays to
I hate it that he prays to God and is not answered, and in the last verse kneeling, like with prayer, but beside a corpse. Feel lost at the end. Very strong message
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Wow. Grim tale of how the
Wow. Grim tale of how the stranger, Jesus, St Joan or any new person in town can be put to death by the unknowing or uncaring hostile mob. Needed to read twice to realise that the stranger kills someone in self-defence. That is believable and works as part of the story.
You use the alluring but deceptively hard structure of the vilanelle very well.
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Ha I'd not heard that. Sort
Ha I'd not heard that. Sort of like a publisher being given manuscripts for future lives and putting them on the reject pile. "That would make a much better tragedy" "This would make great comedy" "You want such and such? BORING!"
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