Being Respectable

-Nice Italian Restaurant

(Abigail, Bryan, Courtney on stage.)
Abigail: So, like I was saying, men are ridiculous creatures. Primal
instincts. P-R-I-M-I-T-I-V-E. You know, animalistic freaks.
Bryan: Yes, right. Men are exactly so.
Abigail: (to Bryan) What do you mean?
Bryan: Animalistic freaks&;#8230;primal instincts..
Abigail: Bah. Men are saps. All of 'em.
Bryan: Yes, right, my bad.
Courtney: I fell down the stairs the other day.
Abigail: That's terrible. You aren't hurt, are you?
(David enters.)
Courtney: Of course I'm hurt. Look at this tiny body.
David: Oh yes, David is here.
Courtney: Oh, David, you'll sit next to me, won't you?
David: David will.
(David sits down next to her.)
Bryan: Abigail, like you were saying?
Abigail: Later. David, what are your thoughts on men?
David: David does not give a shit.
Abigail: Oh, darling, jest you.
Courtney: I dropped my napkin. Will one of you pick it up for me? I'm
oh so weak..
~
(David, Ethan, and Fiona are on stage.)
David: She's right about men, you know.
Fiona: Yes, and you're right for loving me too.
David: What?
Fiona: Nothing at all, love.
Ethan: It's all right, it's nothing, David.
David: That watch you're wearing, Ethan;..David says&;#8230; Toss
it.
Ethan: Really?
David: Definitely.
(Glonad enters.)
Fiona: David, did you hear Abigail ranting about men earlier? She's so
ridiculous, ugly too.
Glonad: Ugly too.
David: Yes, David heard her. Abigail's lovely though. Gorgeous
mouth.
Fiona: Don't I have a gorgeous mouth, too?
David: Not at all.
Ethan: Fiona, it's all right. I think you have a lovely mouth.
(Abigail, Bryan, and Courtney enter.)
Abigail: What about a lovely mouth?
Glonad: Abigail's lovely though. Gorgeous mouth.
Abigail: Oh, that said who?
David: David did.
Abigail: It is a lovely mouth, isn't it?
Courtney: Oh, it is.
Abigail: (To David and Courtney) Well, you're both dolls.
Ethan: (To David and Courtney) You're both dolls, isn't that
nice?
Bryan: (nods) Both dolls.
David: David thinks we need some wine. (looks at Glonad)
Glonad: Wine. (A bottle of wine and 7 glasses appear.)
David: Thatta boy.
Fiona: Would you pour me some, David dear?
David: Ethan, pour Fiona some wine.
Ethan: Of course. (Pours the wine for Fiona.) Anyone else?
Abigail: What wine of kind is it?
Bryan: What?
David: Merlot.
Abigail: Oh, I never liked the stuff.

The End.