X-Happiness

My lover
left in the middle
of the growing darkness.
He never said goodbye,
never waved,
just opened up the door,
stepped outside,
and left.
I'm afraid to sleep,
afraid to eat, breathe,
afraid to move any object
in my room,
because,
what happens
if he comes back?
and he sees everything so
out of order, that he just
gets up and walks out again?
Such sadness.
I wear the same clothes
I wore the day
he left.
I don't change the sheets,
I don't move to get out of
bed,
I don't eat any more.
Because when
my lover left me,
I had already begun
to waste away like Narcissus,
having fallen in love
not with myself,
but with a fantasy.