Corporate Measures

I cradled you in my thoughts
And sang to you a hushed
Lullaby of grave songs
Till the flush was complete

I imagined your daddies eyes
Staring at me lovingly
Amidst all that blood
As I watched you swirl around
The pan for the last time

Afterwards I just felt numb
Like one feels after sleeping
On the same arm for weeks,
Refusing to move
In case my gait
Gave away my guilty
Secret

Still guilt has no place
In my world
And I’m sure my mum
Would understand that
Being a chief exec
In the posh end of town

She would praise my
Decision making skills
And concur, It was the
Logical and right thing to do

Anyhow, You would have just got in
The way of my career
Not to mention the lunch time
Drinking sessions
And the late night parties

I told myself this
And I felt better for a while
And besides, how could I tell you
That you started life
On the back seat
Of one of the best looking cars
On the market

And to top it of
If you had made it
Your blanket would have been
The financial times or the guardian
Or one of those other broad sheet
Papers left by well to do clients

You see, I used the money,
To furnish the flat, to buy drugs
And myself new toys

Still I did what I did for us
And I hope you will see it that way
One day

And I hope you will forgive
Me for not using a prophylactic
Because I knew he was a regular
And I trusted it would
Be a safe thing to do

But mainly because he told me his real name