Its A Mistake to Go Back.

It's a mistake to go back.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Don't know why I'm here today
Except maybe for Auntie Flo
And the fish'n chips.

I cannot find him among the
Tubes and the slow beat
Of the monitor
Green light flashing
Stop. Go. Stay. Leave.
The traffic lights are broken
Now
As the
Past is
Left
Behind.
.

I remember a warm kitchen
Smells of vinegar soaked paper
Vying with cheap
Cologne and
Beer-breath
Clammy hands
Creeping
Up my
Thigh
Bare skin
Goosebumps.

Stale tobacco-coated jersey
Pressed to my face
Holes darned
I can't slip
Through the
Net of fears
Nor say
I won't
Sit on
Your
Lap

The demon is slain with each
Sharp intake of breath and
Drool runs on
Five o'clock
Shadow,
Dark urine
Drips
From
Withered
Scorn
Deflated

I thought I'd want to pull the
Plug and the steady drip of
Life-giving fluid, so like
That other.

I don't want to feel pity
Nor lay aside my anger
Or kiss papery skin
Worn by
The slow
Drip
Of time
Goodbye
Uncle.

And thanks for the fish'n'chips.

© Lisa Fuller April 2006.