I'm Rosco P. Coltrane

I'm the sheriff and my name is Rosco P. Coltrane.
People in Hazzard know that the P is for pea-brain.
I work for Commissioner Jefferson Davis Hogg.
He hates the Dukes and he also hates my dog.
I usually get a cut of the take from my fat brother-in-law.
I love his evil schemes and I love to pinch his flabby jaws.
Everybody knows that I'm a bumbling sheriff, I'm sure not a genius.
I can't catch the Duke boys and neither can my dipstick deputy Enos.
After wrecking all of those patrol cars, I was pretty damn lucky to survive.
But my character came to an end anyway when the Dukes of Hazzard was cancelled in 1985.

(This poem was inspired by the Dukes of Hazzard TV show.)