Beholding Beauty

Originally, Mr Blackwell's autobiography intrigued me, in a bad way. It provoked so much bad publicity which I knew it deserved while I was a serious journalism student in 1989. My mundane amusement at the hammy hack's abuse from every reviewer I found led into my introduction to the essential fact about Michael, my brother-in-law. His mother was, according to Mr Blackwell, the most elegant woman the creater of the 10 Worst Dressed List had ever known. Her son excitedly showed me the passage in this autobiography "From Rags To Bitches." Wanda Curtis had been Mr. Blackwell's main hope of becoming a big deal Hollywood agent before she suddenly fled the country to return to Argentina. Blackwell used that story in his Bio to create pathos leading to his monumental success as a clothing designer. He never recovered completely from the loss of his collossal starlet. My sister and Michael were excited to show me the paragraphs and insisted I give a response. I did not feel like fighting and just said I thought it was neat and interesting.

My sister told me about Wanda while we walked around the Berkeley Marina one evening a few years hence. She said she was really sick now from her bad lifestyle. She had been a drinker and a smoker during those years as a night club singer in Argentina. Viola said she hoped she died soon and then giggled. Explaining her view she said, "I think old people have a responsibility to hurry up and die so they do not become big hassles for people who need to take care of them."

When I found myself taking care of our own mother through the last stages of her life, I remembered this night, and knew I could never ask Viola for much assistance. She and Wanda's son would kill her with neglect at the first opportunity. I stayed with her through the last eight years with no financial help from them until the end when Mom was declared by her doctor to be approaching the absolute end. I decided there was little that they could anymore to hasten her dying and I suggested that the health care in California would make her life easier. Viola began sending assistance to pay for the move from Illinois back to her place. Financially things had been horrible in my home and a lot of the reason was Mom being victimized by telephone and mail fraud. The fraud continued untill she finally left. I had stemmed her abuse down to the fake and bullshit charities near the end. Without her I looked forward to getting my father's finances in order before his time came. She has been gone from this house for a year and died about 4 months ago. The money situation is a lot better even if the general economy is terrible and we are still broke. At least everything we need is getting done and there is no more screaming or threatening to give up our living arrangements between my desperate elderly divorced parents.

After Michael's mother died they inherited all of her belongings, including the trailer and the land where it sat. They told Mom about their large pornography collection they inherited from the star of "King Dinosaur." Viola is puritanical about porn. Michael and she thought Wanda's porn collection was "gross." They hung many of her starving artist artworks around their home including one in their bathroom of a western town populated by little nudies. They have a photo illustrated Kama Sutra on their bed stand and the last time I was sneaking around their house I saw a shocking four foot long blue vibrator halfway tucked in said bed stand. I feel saying that is wrong somehow, but not really, considering everything.

While waiting to have our first consultation with Mom's last oncologist Michael broke the silence with some remarks about urine sex. This caught Viola's attention and she gleefully added, "There are actually weird people who like to pee on each other and drink it during sex! What do you think about that Mom?"

Mom tried to ignore them, as did I, and we did not discuss it later. I did not have much to say on that subject and knew it was not something she had wanted to hear at such a time.

Michael composed this tribute to his mother. He calls it "Heaven Knows Her Smile," He made a big show for my benefit of his creative authorship as he conceived it. Some of the verses are, "She misses baby, It drives her crazy, But she's got singin' in her heart." And "Sometimes she's married, Sometime she isn't, But she's a lover all the time." All this builds to, "She was a woman, I won't forget her, She mixed her music in with mine." And the final refrain: "And when she sings, She sings just like an angel, Heaven knows her smile."

Michael considers himself more a musician than a Spanish teacher and is not bashful about putting on his guitar and "doing his thing." The Albany School District encourages him to perform for his classes as part of his duties as a Spanish language teacher. There are student assessments of him on a "rate your teachers" website for this past year that are mixed. Nearly a third are harshly critical of him and his guitar recitals. I suspect that some of the good reviews are kids who are making fun of him in kidspeak because it makes it more pleasurable when its only understood by other kids. Besides, they are probably too kind hearted to want anyone to lose a job.

As a musician he has been paid at several Mexican eateries to be a strolling guitar player. He loves James Taylor for some reason.

Once I thought it would be interesting to see his reaction to a satiric song by Cristine Lavin called "Sensitive New Age Guys." He just looked kind of dull and grunted a bit when I prodded him for a comment. He repeated the title like a question.

When I gave a critical listen to his CD, the one with a painting my mom provided for his album cover, I know I heard some of the chords from the Christine Lavin record in a few places. Those would have been by special request to his studio musician who produced the CD and played all the solos on his "first' recording. He made the announcement in a recent conversation, that his second recording is about to be released. Since they are in sole possession of my mother's life time of paintings and drawings they could continue the album art with her works. I doubt that they will since the first jacket was a custom order.