January

Gold cherry

By Rhiannonw

Tue, 06 Jan 2015
  • 6558 reads
20 comments
 

(based on ‘Ionawr’ [January] by Eifion Wyn)

January: hard frozen,
bleaching the land;
and what have you done to
the village pond?
The ducks like to shelter,
for wintery weathers
leave nowhere to sail
or wash out their feathers.

January: still, barren
with bare, bleak hill,
the birds come to gardens
to get their fill:
the trees their fruit offerings
no longer can keep,
and little protrudes from
the soil’s deep sleep.

January: cold bitter
with biting frost –
and some are alone,
their home now lost:
no welcoming hearth,
its warmth now chilled,    
no rest, and no heart-song,
or larder well-filled.

Certificate U
Poem
The Months of the Year
Nature

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

No it's indecent how frequent we see the rich carry on with their spending spree. 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Hi, Celt. Nice to see the cherries by that cold pic, and in praise of this based on a much-loved poem of my childhood (he wrote on all the months, though the first two were my favourite, especially the rhythm and sound). It was quite a challenge to try to get some of the feel of his poem, and some of the ideas, but make it a verse in its own right.

I don't think he was pointing the finger at the rich, though encouraging them (and the ordinary, moderately well-off) to concern for those in trouble, great or small. Sometimes the spending sprees seem to be by the not-very-rich - trying to copy the rich and compensate for loneliness??
Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Geoff Smith on

So what do the rich do to compensate for their loneliness? :)

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Interesting point! Rh

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

I really liked this poem, and felt the coldness of it in the words and phrases.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Jean, thanks for telling me! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Geoff Smith on

Annoying quip aside, I love this poem. I really think it's beautiful. I love the subtle rhymes at the ends of the stanzas.

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Geoff. Glad it resonated with you. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

another transportive, evocative, chilly wonder...i loved bleaching the land, and the cold alliterative rattle of barren, bare bleak hills, contrasted at the end with welcoming/warmth. also soil's deep sleep, very delicate and vital word choice. really enjoy your work :-) also i dont know the original poem but it sounds an interesting creative endeavour to undertake :-) 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

thank you very much for that thoughtful comment and appreciation, Stephen.
Of course, the original is in Welsh and so possibly no-one on here would know it, but I have always found it pleasant and inspiring, and thought it a challenge to, not translate, but use it as a basis for an English sort-of equivalent! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Lovely. I felt the cold desolation. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Bee. One appreciates one's home comforts! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Brilliantly written, Rhiannon...felt the chill run down my spine, especially in that last stanza.  The cherries richly deserved.

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you so much, Tina. So glad you enjoyed. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our facebook and twitter pick of the day!

Get a fantastic reading recommendation every day.

 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

That's good to know. Thanks! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by scratch on

Excellent Rhiannonw!

Holding a rhyme as well as this is not easy but you just made it seem so.  Well done.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you so much, scratch, for that comment, and I am pleased you enjoyed it so much. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Relentlessly cold to the bone.  The first line of each stanza drives this home.  A chilly, thought-provoking poem.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Helen. I appreciate your comment. Of course it is inspired by a Welsh poem, but verse is not translateble as such between languages and cultures and eras. So, one adapts and tries to get something new, but somewhat similar, out! Rhiannon