London Street Music

Cherry

By Rhiannonw

Thu, 04 Aug 2016
  • 6199 reads
10 comments
 

Sounds upon a London street -
horns and revs and clicking feet,
rush of trains beside, below,
everywhere a jagged flow,
intermingled sounds, a haze
filling up the working days
– soften, ease with evening’s laughter,
’til the lull of hours after:
settling dust, vibrations stilled …
with rushing movement soon re-filled.    

Inspired by my son’s musical interpretation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ5-0f_bEnY&index=5&list=PLTX-lLNb4O9THo...

Photo courtesy of Flickr user “firemedic58”, used under the Creative Commons
Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0) licence.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous
Other Non-fiction

Comments

Submitted by seashore on

I really like this.  It builds nicely - like your son's music.  My only slight criticism might be with with the last line - the penultimate line is beautiful, and I know you need to keep the rhyme and rhythm...anyway, just a thought.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, seashore. I did struggle a bit with the last line, but hoped I'd got there! but will think further. I wondered whether to have a gap before the last line. The night's pause in sound is all too brief! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

HI Rhiannon

I liked this too.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jean. I hope you have a good few days away. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jolono on

Liked this a lot Rhiannonw. The music is wonderful!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jolono. I must tell David! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Some stirring words that sum up the streets of London perfectly Rhiannon. The music felt right too.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jenny. I hope you have had a few days break. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jolono on

As I mentioned before, I thought the music was quite stunning! The poem was good as well. Thanks for entering the Comp Riannonw.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

thanks again, Jolono, for all your dedication to commenting. And i will be glad to encourage David in his writing! Rhiannon