Lust Loses All

Cherry

By Rhiannonw

Sat, 28 Jul 2018
  • 2553 reads
11 comments
 

A goose a golden egg had laid,
and so the farmer’s bills were paid
and every day he’d gold to trade,
but then for greed, the goose he slayed –
of gold he thought it must be made
inside, but was distraught, dismayed,
for meat alone was there displayed,
and no more golden eggs were laid!

[Poetry monthly July: golden]
[IP: FairyTales]
This was put together as a fun posting for the Poetry Monthly, but I think it does qualify as a Fairytale rendering, by the broad definition of Fairytales? I hope Well Wisher might have enjoyed it

Certificate U
Poetry Monthly
Miscellaneous
Humour
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

That's lovely Rhiannon - it trips off the tongue neatly!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, I did enjoy it coming together like that! And realising it could probably go for the IP aswell. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks for the cherries. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by gletherby on

I love this Rhiannon

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

He was a brilliant rhymer too.

This poem makes me think of how we are exploiting the Earth's resources, also

 

 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Di. We can all personally get greedy, or impatient, and covet more than we need (and unapprecitive of our daily bread plus that we have!), so it's not just the big guys out there. And some of the big guys are trying to use resrouces sensibly, and make jobs for people — there will always be a tension in the present universe, and the mixed motives of its occupants! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

That's great, Rhiannon. Fair trips along.

Just thinking about the metre, how about

"but then for greed, the goose he slayed"?

Less of a tongue-twister, maybe.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, PT. Yes, I think you're probably right there, and I'll try it. (Of course, I'm fond of tongue-twisters and lots of alliteration, but one must know where it gets too much!). My husband (for fun) had mentioned that 'grew' rhymed with 'slew' the more usual form than 'slayed' , but then I'd lose my end-of-line rhymings which seemed to go well in this one! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I love the message within this piece Rhiannon. Always be satisfied with what you've got and be thankful.

Never a truer word spoken.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jenny. And we can pray too, but not demanding luxuries! Rhiannon