No Ties (IP)

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Rhiannonw

Mon, 15 Sep 2014
  • 10070 reads
22 comments
 

“I went far away
and thought to be free –
no-one to complain …
no need to explain…
no need for commitment …
nor irksome involvement,
no one to expect me
to help,
no one to infect me
with ideas
or fears.
I make no demands,
nor offer my hands,
my feet, or my labour
to help out a neighbour;
no loyalties hamper,
no duties to damper,
free to fly,
to party high
to live or die,
alone in the sea,
just me;

but something’s gone wrong
for somehow I long,
as I drift through the throng,
faceless, passed over
– I want to belong.”

 [ IP: 'belonging, loyalty, freedom and independence'.]

Certificate U
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

a very fine interpretation!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, insert. I appreciate that. And thanks for the cherries.
Rhiannon
 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Fits so well. Lovely poem, Rhiannon, exploring the longing to escape but needing to belong in the end.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks Bee, I'm glad you felt it worked OK. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by catherine poarch on

That old dilemma. Lovely and to the point.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Catherine, I enjoyed trying to think about this subject and try to get  it into this sort of form. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

What a lovely poem, very true to life. How much we all need to have some sort of connection.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jean. I was relieved somehow to get gently back to the deep need for ties. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Rhiannon your poem illustrates very clearly how hard it can be to get the balance right between 'me time' and 'we time'.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Elsie. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Nice surprise to see the golden cherries, thank you, and glad this touched a chord. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by celticman on

works for me, but I'm not- yet- free.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

thanks, Celt . And your pondering another untested freedom?! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Shannan on

You've been a busy lady. Nice work and congrats... it made me think of Tom, the lead character in Tennessee William's Glass Menagerie and how he is left escaping and running all the time, when he feels the presence of his sister and love for his family, still he chooses to escape them and responsibility... either way it's tough - stick around and deal with it, or escape forever and be haunted... Thanks R. Stay Blessed. $

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Shannan for that comment and nice to hear from you. You stay in the blessings too! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Congratulations on your achievement, Rhiannon. A very polished and pertinent poem well deserving of the accolade.

Luigi

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Luigi. Lovely to have your appreciation. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

A really tricky balance, I appreciated the sentiments expressed here. I liked the structure and again it made me wish to know more about how poems are constructed, the technical side, I must look for a starting point today. The early repetition of 'no' and the short sharp phrases reflecting the wished for sparsity of life also felt a little like a stubborn refusal, rejection. 

For some reason I thought it seemed important that the wording at the end was in the sea as opposed to by the sea, etc.

Excellent poem! :-)

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, I appreciate your interest at analysis, Stephen. My background is Welsh and Welsh poetry which makes a lot of use of repetition of consonants or part words to form unbotrusive patterns to help the impact of verse. (In its technical complex forms this is called 'cynghanedd', which I think is translated as 'metrical consonance' but it doesn't really exist in any other language as far as I know).
Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

v interesting, sounds quite lyrical...thankyou for the info :-)

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

 What a great poem! The voice felt like  that of a child, to me, the end was a cry, the last lines particularly like a pause, looking around and thinking, after all the short lines like steps darting and dodging through a crowd. As Stephen says there is so much skill ion how you write :0) Very glad you put a link to it!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Di, for the read and comment, and glad to hear your appreciation. It was good to look it up again! Rhiannon