Scramble Ramble

By Rhiannonw

Tue, 10 Feb 2015
  • 2183 reads
8 comments
 

On map, wood’s steep path
clearly shown –
gone missing, overgrown:
sticks bash, slash,
boots crash, crush
brambles,
slipping, gripping grassy clumps,
and crumbling stumps;    
foot slides
on loose earth,
stone shifts, glides,    
legs stumble –
mustn’t tumble –
dig in, feet aslant,
handholds scant,
saplings bend,
footholds for boots
in a tree’s exposed and twisty roots;

near the end –

now on the top,
stop, looking down –
nearby town
far below,
and further on the hills and vales of Wales.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Countryside explorations
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

This should be in a rambling book, Rhiannon. You love rhymes and playful assonance as much as I do. This was exciting - sounds dangerous, but oh, so satisfying. As ever, reading about your excursions, I wish I was there. Lovely poem. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Bee. Yes, I do like use of rhymes and assonance, sort of alliterative patterns for  musicality in some subjects. Pleased you enjoyed the second-hand scramble and the read! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

You give a sense of the struggle for the view, really does feel like a scramble.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Yes, thanks, that is what I wanted to convey, the view was really worth it, and the steepness meant that it was like looking from a balcony. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

As the others have said the reader experiences the struggle up the hill, and the pleasure of the view from the top.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jean. Nice to share those experiences a bit. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I enjoyed your poem Rhiannon, it had a good rhythm to it. The words you've used, lead you onwards and upwards and finally to the top of what must have been an amazing view.

As always enjoyed the ramble with you.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jenny, glad you enjoyed the climb and view too! Rhiannon