Visible signs of the invisible

Cherry

By Rhiannonw

Wed, 25 Sep 2024
  • 481 reads
17 comments
 

I heard the loose guttering shake,
and I heard (not really awake)
the tree branches creak
and the garden gate squeak:
    so I knew
    that the wind was flowing,
    blowing through.

I saw the leaves skitter
seed-parachutes flutter,
and drift,
something tried hard to lift
my hat, and the washing
was waving – ‘til ‘good-bye’
over the fence I saw it fly:
    so I knew
    that the wind was flowing,
    blowing through.

Where does it come from
 – do you know?
unseen, but felt,
where does it go?
We hear its effect,
its work we detect
as it gently flies past –
or sometimes a fast,
great powerful blast!

        [IP: Carried on the wind.]

(partly inspired by ‘The Wind’ by Robert Louis Stevenson)

 

Certificate U
Poem
Nature
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Your poem was a powerful observation in words of how strong the wind can be, though unseen, its strength is carried in your great rhythm and rhyme Rhiannon.

You got my attention from the first line.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank youl, Jenny. Glad you enjoyed. I enjoyed it coming together! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Love the rhythm in this IP response - thank you Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you. I enjoyed the rhythm coming together! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Caldwell on

Your poem reminds me of something.

There was a German advert featuring a Mr W for a wind energy company called Epuron. I don't know if you've seen it. It's easy to track down on YouTube.

He is large, awkward and looks like a mime artist crossed with Lurch from The Munsters. He irritates people, messing up their hair, making a mess of a pile of rubbish or up-ending a gazebo.

He's depressed that no one likes him until he finds a man with a bright idea of utilising his power for good.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I must look that up, thank you! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you for the cherries. Rh

 

Submitted by Nolan on

An excellent description I almost feel the wind. Very well written.

Excellent. See you & Nolan
 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

An excellent response to the I.P., Rhiannon, with good flowing rhythm and rhymes.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Oh, thank you, Luigi, I'm glad you thought so. Also, I'd been wondering if you were well. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Brilliant! Thankyou for such a fabulous IP response, Rhiannon! I loved the rhythm and rhyme, too, but also liked very much the hearing and sight and feeling at the start, then the last bit thinking and wondering. I looked up the poem you mentioned, but enjoyed yours much more!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Oh, thank upi, Di. It is good to know you enjoyed it. I guess we are a different era to Robert Louis Stevenson anyway! but his poem got me thinking, and thiniking rhythmically though to rather a different rhythm in the end.  Rhiannon

 

Submitted by marandina on

Thank you for referencing one of my favourites authors. I read quite a bit of RLS when I was younger.

There's a beautiful flow to this matching the theme with interesting questions asked that we often think but rarely articulate.

Nicely done, Rhiannon.

[Should that line read "I saw the leaves skitter"?]

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks again, Paul.

I'm not sure about your query. Were you thinking the word should be 'skutter', or why I had italicized 'saw' (I'd italicized 'heard' in the first verse). Or is there a typo I'm missing, with my eyesight?

Oh, I see (or don't see!) the missing 'i' now! Thank you! One sees what one expects to see so often! It's missing on my computer copy too. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Nolan on

The last stanza sounds like pentecost. Keep well! & Nolan

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks! Well thought! John 3:8 Jesus compares the wind known to be passing by the signs of ithe things it does, with the work of the Spirit in people's lives showing He has been at work, though we cannot see Him with our physical eyes! Rhiannon