Just For Once

By Richard L. Provencher

Sat, 24 Mar 2012
  • 1016 reads
4 comments
 

let me be a part of the
woodsy flavour I can scent

to be a chick-a-dee so carefree
and free, flitting from one
branch to another

or a crow with its raucous
calls, inviting someone
to share a feast

maybe a deer pointing nose
at the sky, accepting
glory in a day full of sun

perhaps the skunk skulking
nearby, unsure if it will
be welcomed in the sunny light

all part of a great menu in
Nature's gift of life.

© Richard L. Provencher

Certificate U
POETRY - A Passage of Motion 2
Nature

Comments

Submitted by scratch on
Lovely Richard. I think that you simply excell at this type of writing. Beautiful, naturalistic observations expressed lyrically. My only (tiny) observation conerns the last two lines which I think may be superfluous. This is a minor quibble on your superb (again) poetry. Thanks for sharing.

 

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Thank you so much, Scratch. I made a few word changes in the last two sentences, and please let me know what you think. This will be done in the next few minutes. I always desire any suggestion for improving my work. Thank you. Richard LP
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by scratch on
Much better Richard in my opinion. The edit has opened up the theme at the end (or more accurately) kept the breadth of the preceding stanzas true to the finish. Now the piece has universal appeal to the general reader and kept us all in the picture of the images that you have crafted. Taking it to the personal (as in the pre edit version) did not have this effect. The removal of "voyeur" whilst clearly originally included in a benign way, and to weave the new line is much better as well. Well done, and your willingness to edit is very generous from a poet as talented as you. All the best matey.

 

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Thank you so much, Scratch, for your very kind comments. When I was recuperating from my stroke, the best movement I had was wiggling my nose. Thus, watching birds prance about on our back porch became my new sport. They are fascinating, as are the rest of the woods-creatures. Richard LP
Richard L. Provencher