Rated 'R' to Rated 'G' in less than 60 seconds

I stopped at a perv store today. I was driving home and saw a sign that read ‘Perv Supplies’ and I realized that I was running low on perv stuff so in I went.

They had everything a male or female perv could possibly need, or want! I actually felt a little tingly walking through the aisles. They had perv toys, perv chains and leather restraints, perv cologne, and even perv videos for my little perv at home and...

OMG! Stupid auto swell erect. NO! I meant to write “STUPID AUTO SPELL CORRECT!”

And, it was supposed to be pet! Pet supplies, it should have read “PET” supplies, not perv supplies!

I get in more trouble with that strap-on thong. DAMN! I meant “TROUBLE WITH THAT STUPID THING!” Oh I hate this! It's kissing me! UGH, “KILLING” me. I better shoot up before I get… “BETTER SHUT UP” I meant!

That’s it, I quilt, ovary and gout!