assorted journal

We're losing Cabin pressure and I wanted to spit a few more
memories. I'm listening to the most famous "Live" album. I'm really
feeling it. "Secret Samadhi" got too soft. You have to keep it hard.
Lady Macbeth was wise. She said, "You were a man when you durst do
it(kill King Duncan)." Likewise, I was a man when I was younger, full
of blood-lust, ambition and megalomania. Now, suffering has made me
wiser, but not as great. I'd rather be "Superman" than Socrates. When I
was 16 working on a hiking trail crew, mosquitoes bit me so badly that
I had leprosy, I was scarred with bites on top of bites. But I fought
it out. Walking out of that hellish marsh, I volunteered carried two
large metal rods on my shoulders across a log bridge over a raging
river. That's pretty good for a kid with poor coordination and no depth
perception. The first time I ate a girl out, her smell disgusted me. I
didn't do it very well. I've thought about it and I'm damnned if I
shouldn't have done better. Life has some bitterness. Woman is still
beautiful. At the same concert, it rained and I caught horrible
phneumonia. For the first time, I thought I might die. A wonderful
woman doctor took pity on me. She seemed to really respect me; she saw
me as charismatic. Her name was Dr. Rose. I still remember her.
Eventually, I recovered but I never really recovered. Then I've always
had this infection in my ear and I can't get medical treatment for it.
Bloody hell, there's a cist in there and it's made me miserable for
years. My eyes don't work together; I mostly see through my right eye
and I mainly think with my left hemisphere, which controls my right
eye. In high school, I had an art teacher who would always tell me, if
you could just free your right hemisphere and live in your more
artistic side, you'd be very powerful. Last night, I hung out with a
kid with this really cool vaporizer. Now, I've smoked from vaporizers
before but nothing like this. He'd fill a bag with pot vapor and we
passed it back and forth like a water bottle, no waste, no smoke, pure
THC and it was efficient. You can get higher than you ever could
through traditional smoking and if you just transferred this technology
to hash, which I'm sure people are doing all over, you could seriously
fly. When I was very young, I had a dream that I was flying on the high
desert amount above house, gliding around the pine trees.