intro to journal

Dear diary,


I suppose I ought to introduce myself. My name is Sean. I
have a last name but it's common and American and could also be
"Johnson" or "Miller" without any real difference being made. I've
often wondered what this name means. But I've learned. Over the years,
it's become a symbol of ostracism, suffering and a quickly developing
outlawry.
I've had a long and interesting life before I decided to write a
journal. It's had two components: the positive and the negative. First,
I'll share a bit of the positive. As a youth, I did a lot of reading. I
was practically raised by the European classics. I knew more about
Ancient Rome than I did about my hometown. I've always been a very
passionate person, going after life at the highest levels. I've written
lots of beautiful poetry and fiction ever since early high school(I'm
now a college senior.) More importantly to many people, I had a weekly
column in my city paper for a couple years. I tried to stay upbeat and
I believe I made a connection with the community. I've played a lot of
tennis and developed decent skills. I've fallen in love, had a long
relationship, and ultimately had my heart broken. I've gone to numerous
Shakespeare plays and classical music performances. On the subject of
music, I've obsessed over interesting artists such as "Marilyn," "Jonny
Lang," "Sublime," and "Tom Petty."
The "negative" in my life is fairly interesting and I'll tell the
whole story. I'm quite the pariah. My mere existence seems to bring out
the rage in any American community. It's only a matter a time before
they throw me in some dungeon or crucify me. Let me count my negative
traits. I'm an alcoholic. I suffer deeply and can't seem to quiet the
pain without drinking. I'm highly perverted. I have fantasies of the
most depraved kind at times. I'm talking scatology, pedophilia, etc.
But I've never acted on these fantasies nor will I. I'm highly
arrogant. Essentially, I think most people in our society don't know
their heads from their asses. I don't respect any of the authorities. I
think the intellectuals in our countries are mindless and superficial.
And I have even worse problems with mainstream American society. Let me
see. I'm sure I can find some more negative qualities. I suppose I
can't. I'm a very good looking person and this lets me get by. But my
very presence seems to freak out your normal American. It's my
aura.
Anyway, I suppose I'll let this serve as my first entry. Peace.