the space between us

By seannelson

Sat, 01 Oct 2011
  • 694 reads
5 comments
 

the space between us
like the dry blackness between stars
the depressive air
between different mind zones

We contort it with a hug;
I slice it with coffeespoons.
Lovers, friends, and family
we walk on opposite sides of the street
as the titanic city sinks into night
every street light soldier
in the great procession
giving its red salute to the sky

Things are always complicated;
mistakes made in permanent ink
can't be erased
but there was never a chance
for a rough draft;
the space between us
is dark and daft

Certificate U
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi seannelson, I love your descriptions in this poem, especially that second stanza:- We contort it with a hug; I slice it with coffeespoons. Lovers, friends and family we walk on opposite sides of the street as the titanic city sinks into night every street light soldier in the great procession giving its red salute to the sky Wow! amazing stuff. Thanks for sharing. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I agree with Jenny - this is really good sean

 

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Brilliant :)

Submitted by L G Meadows on
So true, mistakes made in permanent ink can't be erased... lots of good stuff in that poem.

 

Submitted by seannelson on
thank you all kindly
"If I send you post-cards from the side of the road: photographs of movies, and hearts about to implode"  -  Elliott Smith