Me, Matisse and the Snail (IP)

By seashore

Sun, 26 Feb 2012
  • 4155 reads
18 comments
 

I am the red dancer,
twirling, swirling - my
jazz heart beating to the
smoky rhythms of Charlie
Parker, Miles Davis,
Louis Armstrong...

I am the blue nude, the
acrobat, the knife thrower -
the model who obeys her
master's commands.

I am the standing woman
with the broken waist,
creased with pain from
so many contortions.

I am changing shape;
does he notice the curve of
my back, the slowness of my
movements, the faded paint
trail that drags in my wake?

I am no more his lover, his
dancing girl; yet still he watches,
sensing it's time for one final
surge, as he calls for the
scissors, paper and paints.

I am ripped and torn, colour-
splashed, disfigured, random
shapes pasted onto canvas
and hung out to dry, so what
has he made of me now...

I am the Snail, the biggest and
brightest of all his cut-outs...
I am everything he wanted me
to be; thirty years on, I think
my work is done.

Certificate PG
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by fatboy74 on
You are writing again and on good form, I really like the repetition and the eye for detail here, you certainly haven't forgotten how to write really good poems. :-)

 

Submitted by seashore on
Thanks FB for the kind words. Unfortunately I have forgotten how to write, hence the need to re-hash my last one ito an IP. Sometimes re-writing helps get one going again... At last I'm beginning to feel a bit more like `me' (and less snail-like!) after a weird few months so hopefully the rest will follow with time and patience. ATB.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Coral, this is great. As fb says, the repetition works excellently. I really like this stanza:- "I am ripped and torn, colour- splashed, disfigured, random shapes pasted onto canvas and hung out to dry, so what has he made of me now..." Wonderful stuff;-) Tina x

 

Submitted by seashore on
Ah, I really appreciate that Tina! You've given me a much-needed boost so many thanks for that. x

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Perfect poem coral, I think you've got the IP down wonderfully, like FB said the repetition works so well. Love the whole poem, but the stanza that stands out for me is:- I am changing shape; does he notice the curve of my back, the slowness of my movements, the faded paint trail that drags in my wake? Your study of the artist is captivating, you breathe new life into his painting. Jenny.x

 

Submitted by twoflowers on
Wonderful! I really like this. :) Question, what does IP mean?

Submitted by seashore on
Thanks so much Jenny for your feedback - much appreciated. x

Submitted by seashore on
Thank you twoflowers (wonder what the two flowers are?).... IP is Inspiration Point - ideas for writing suggested by Tony Cook. If you look on Homepage under main list (left hand side blue print) you will find it there. This week is was `repetition'. Nice to meet you and I will look out for your work.

Submitted by shoe on
My two favourite verses have already been chosen, so I will just say I think this is a wonderful poem.

 

Submitted by seashore on
Many many thanks for that shoe - your comment means more than you know.

Submitted by Firebird on
Such a lovely poem x:)

 

Submitted by seashore on
Wow - thank you so much Firebird! x

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Particularly like how the fourth stanza sets up the seventh, good stuff! all the best lena xx

 

Submitted by seashore on
Many thanks for reading this one and commenting, Lena.

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Absolutely love the first two stanzas. Some really great images in this one, a beautifully visual poem :-) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by seashore on
Thank you so much Magic - this is the last piece of writing I managed before quite a bid life change and move, so I really appreciate you reading it and leaving such a positive comment. Coral xx

Submitted by scratch on
Seashore, this is superb, great words, great pictures.

 

Submitted by seashore on
It's great when one hasn't written for a while and such a lovely comment such as this comes out of the blue....so many thanks for that, scratch!