Babies

Babies

Babies when first born just giggle and burp
But don't really do much at all,
It's not that surprising they're a little upset,
Being squeezed through an opening so small.

Just imagine the scene; you're warm in the womb,
You're counting those heartbeats go by,
All of a sudden they're slappin' your arse,
Determined on making you cry.

Being a newborn you feel kinda cheated,
As though you've been sold down the river,
Like any good speech you were easily conceived,
But pretty damn hard to deliver.

It's like you've just been away, a good nine months off,
You've been super chilled out in Barbados,
The next thing you know life's like Marylebone Rd,
It's 8.45 rush hour chaos

As if that's not enough they bounce you about,
They prod you then bounce you some more,
They only stop prodding and passing you 'round,
When you finally throw up on the floor.

Then the oldies come round and make gurgly sounds,
Pull faces and act really sad.
Then you make them both weep just by falling asleep,
Or finally saying Granddad.

Most new borns parents will have read baby books,
And attended those prenatal classes,
On how to make bottles and what babies eat,
And the best way to wipe little arses!

So if you're a new parent, patience you'll need.
When learning to care for and feed it.
And if you're a newborn I wish you good luck
'Cause with those kinda parents you'll need it.