Dunderbeck (reworked)

There was a man named Dunderbeck a butcher was his trade,
On the street he sold old meat and the sausages he made,
But people rarely bought his meat his business was joke,
Dunderbeck was desperate, he was seriously broke.

Now that butchers wife was twice his size but only half his age,
When Dunderbeck stopped earning cash she flew into a rage,
Bring me money Dunderbeck, make me want to stay,
Or I’m leaving you on Monday night with all these debts to pay.

That afternoon old Dunderbeck was walking in the park,
He detested all those city dogs the way they used to bark,
He threw stones at a Labrador and kicked a passing Pug,
Dunderbeck had turned into a canine hating thug.

So an idea came to Dunderbeck to build a huge machine,
For grinding dogs to sausage meat, the thing would run on steam,
Now Spaniels and Retrievers will never more be seen,
They’d all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbecks machine.

These sausages were tasty; folk flocked from far and wide,
And Dunderbeck he sold his ground Chiwawa meat with pride,
As people chewed and crunched on gristle and gnawed the juicy meat,
They hadn’t guessed it was their pets they were sitting down to eat.

Now dogs were getting hard to find, the supply could never last,
Old Dunderbeck he had to get some pets and get them fast.
So he bought some rope and a catching net and hatched a cunning plan,
Then drove around the city streets in an evil looking van.

He‘d find a dog and tempt the beast with a tasty looking treat,
Then grab it in his doggy net and grind it up for meat.
Old Dunderbecks machine ground pets for 18 hours a day,
And Dunderbeck made grisly cash for the debts he had to pay.

One day the tax collector came walking in the store,
She saw the lead of her Labrador discarded on the floor,
Dunderbeck was worried, he knew the girl would tell,
So he threw her in his meat machine and ground her up as well.

This brand new blend of sausage meat was a flavourful sensation,
So Dunderbeck made plans to mince the human population,
He’d only grab the best, the healthy, fit and lean,
Then he’d have the meat he’d need to feed his sausage meat machine.

But then disaster struck, the machine refused to start.
So Dunderbeck he climbed inside to fix the faulty part,
His wife had laid a trap that was working out a treat,
She crept along, turned off to on and Dunderbeck was meat.

©RS2011