None of That

(Telephone rings)

Queen: Yes?

Harry: Grandmum, 'tis I, your young Harry!

Q: Harry?...Oh yes! Harry my dear, I'm quite anxious to chat with
you.

H: No problem, mum. Shoot.

Q: Beg your pardon?

H: Umm, go ahead, mum. What's cooking?

Q: Oh, how dear, Harry. Would you like dinner here?

H: No mum. But thanks. What I meant was...you wanted to talk, you said.
It's no trouble but I shan't be able to talk very long, I've a match
here.

Q: A what? Match? Luv, surely you aren't smoking now!

H: No, mum. Nothing of the sort. It's a rugby match, 'tis all.

Q: Oh, of course. I see.

H: Mum?

Q: My dear.

H: What are you anxious to chat about?

Q: But dear. Must it be on the line?

H: Oh, sorry mum. I just can't come by at the moment, you see. Next
week I can, perhaps.

Q: Oh dear, will I ever adapt to this modern life?

H: Mum, you're great, you know. You really are.

Q: My, Harry. Now you've made my eyes misty. I can BEGIN to imagine my
life before you, Willie and the others.

H: Mum, awfully sorry here, but the team are waiting. What shall I
say?

Q: Dear me. I won't keep you, heart. You see, I've heard the most
vicious lies and rumours. Of course, I'll have none of it. But please,
luv, tell me you're just fine! Tell me they're only lies.

H: Mostly mum. Mostly lies. Commercial stuff, you see. Now and then,
however...

Q: Harry! You promised me... Don't you remember, luv?

H: Rest assured of one thing, mum. I'll never disappoint you. But you
must remember--I'm quite young still.

Q: Of course you are, dear. Willie as well. My young handsome laddies.
I'm thinking of your Christmas gifts today. Any hints?

H: Christmas? But mum, it isn't near!

Q: Now, none of that. I shan't wait any longer. Waiting is
boring!

H: Hmm. On second thought, mum, I think I WILL call in person--today
even. After the match. Immediately after. Yes, we must chat, mum.

Q: Oh, Harry! You're such a delight--as always. See you soon.

H: Bye mum.

Q: Adieu--and good luck with the cricket.

H: Rugby, mum.

Q: Yes dear, whatever.

(They ring off)

THE END