Hormone displacement therapy.

HORMONE DISPLACEMENT THERAPY.
sneak

She says it was her hormones -
that made her steal the dress.
I asked about the T-shirt,
she replied with tenderness,
'I'll go and get it later,
I'll rob it just for you'
A little more Dutch courage,
a pint or maybe two?
I lit a broken cigarette -
rescued from a full ashtray.
She visited the Ladies,
to every mans dismay.
Returning in her spoils,
a bright red micro-skirt.
I choked upon my Guinness -
and dribbled down my shirt.
'Does sir approve?', she questioned,
as she took a lucky seat.
I nodded like a puppy,
drooling at her feet.
Laughing at my weakness,
she blew a vodka kiss.
I took another drag,
she just took the piss.
I said it was my hormones -
that made me act this way.
'What? Like a fuckin' loser?'
She replied to my dismay.
'I just can't help my feelings,
you look so fuckin' hot.'
She said that she forgave me,
though I still don't know for what!
We drank into the evening.
Evening became night.
I never got the T-shirt -
but I got in to a fight.
A verbal boxing contest.
Bare knuckled to the end.
Removing stolen goods -
from a paralytic friend!

sneak