If I See a Slug

Thanks you three, had to vent my spleen last night. Thing is, invasive nasty parasites, or not, I can't kill them, hence the ridiculous threats. I can't get toads because my cats would torment the life out of them, so I decided a hedgehog was the way to go, maybe ten hedgehogs.I've had my eyes peeled along hedgerows and what not at night, is there a hedgie to be found? Is there hell. but if I find one, perfect, but how can I take it away from its home? It may well have children relying on it. .. but then I reason, better me than a lorry and at least my garden is safe,it will have a great home under my shed and I'll find it a mate and it can make lots of lovely new babies. And while it's grieving, it can get big and fat and gorge-ous.

Ta J, and Alibob. Ah bolt and bolt, it depends if you speak proper like wot I do and say bolt with an Oh, but I borrowed the Yorkshire Balt, which kind of works in a roundabout way.

Thanks FB, I'll swap you woodlice for slugs anyday. Tell you what, give me your address and I'll send my slugs off to you now, no rush for the lice, just whenever. :-) I can live with being likened to Pammie, thank you.

Thanks Durand, thankfully, they seem to have calmed down a bit the last couple of weeks. I'm on the attack on bees this week. See, now I don't mind bees at all, pleasant little buzzies. But... my cats will chase them and they keep getting stung, can't really blame the bees. They've both been stung on the paw, Alba twice. This week, Alba has a sting on her lip and it's another damned vet bill. I like bee people, really I do, but if they wouldn't buzz about, the cats wouldn't get strung and the vet wouldn't get richer as I get poorer.

Oh, don't be fooled Shannan, it's a fad. I'm obsessive compulsive about things. I bought a plant because it was pretty, just the one. The week after I went and bought half the bloody garden center, and then I found telly gardening and B&M gardening club. Now I could give Tatton Park a run for it's money. This conversation shows you exactly how good I am at gardening. Son: How are you? Me: bored, nothing to do, nobody to talk to. Son: find something to do Me: I have. I've been doing plants and stuff. Son: Eh? Me: you know, getting plants and putting them in the soil. Son: It's called gardening, mother. Me: oh yeah, I knew that. Previous obsessions have been;- Trikes reptiles (several times) writing (ongoing) karaoke cross stitch salt dough trials riding (motorbikes) Karate yoga getting slim, and by equal measure getting fat, and then getting slim again. salsa line dancing street dance zumba I get obsessed, talk about nothing else for months.. and then get bored and fizzle. Thanks Shannan. Appreciated.

Thanks Badger, but I'm no poet. If it made you smile, it's fine by me.

Thanks Zal, I'm all mouth, I can't kill them, much as I hate them I can't kill anything that feels. Well, I can't, but I do have Seymour and Slime, my two insectivorous, slug eating plants.