She died on a Wednesday

She died on a Wednesday

Norah Bird, was a veteran of stage, radio and screen. She'd been
around forever,certainly
for the entire length of my life, and going back some years before my
birth. Every so often
a new sit com would come along with Norah cast in the role of
somebody's grandmother,
as fifteen years before that she had played endless, mothers, wives,
and barmaids; and
fifteen before that, she had been everybody's favorite dolly bird.
"Norah Bird, the all
singing, all dancing, one woman extravaganza!" These days she doddered
a bit, and fluffed
the occasional line, but the nation loved her and made allowances for
her age.

It was Wednesday afternoon,and I'd just finished work and was driving
to my friend
Janet's house for coffee. Beautiful South were belting out 'Amsterdam'
and I was
pondering the implications of the fact that age was creeping up on me.
In fact he had
crept so close that he was about to grab me from behind with a nasty
surprise. And how
did I know this? With an all too frequent flick of a button, I was more
and more often
casting aside Radio One, for the more dulcet tones of Terry Wogan on
Radio Two.

Anything to escape that nerve grating, Hippity hoppity, rappy, techno
rubbish, spewed
out by the "younger peoples" radio stations. I was still ruminating on
the sad facts of the
aging process, when the two o clock news broke my maudlin mind
wanderings.

"Norah Bird, the radio, stage and television celebrity, died quietly at
her home this
morning. Miss Bird will be best remembered for her character Phillis
Phluss in 'Next time
`round I'm coming back as a grow bag ........."

The voice of the bored sounding newsreader droned on as I pulled into
Janets driveway. I
made a mental note to tell her about Norah Bird,but then promptly
forgot.

The following tuesday I was siting at home with my friend Paul, after
watching a couple
of tired re-runs of old sit-coms, we were sitting, mulling over the
ways of the world with a
cup of coffee, When I remembered the passing of old Norah, and
mentioned it. Paul said
he hadn't heard a thing about it, and was I sure? Could I perhaps have
been dreaming? I
grudgingly admitted that this was a possibility, though, driving and
dreaming at one and
the same time, is not conducive to being an ardent follower of the
Green Cross Code.

The next day was Wednesday, I finished work and went round to Jan's
for coffee.
Celine was singing 'Tell him' with Barbara Streisand and some
unrequired help, and
rather dubious harmonies from yours truly. As I was driving and
singing, I was also
planning meals, and mentally paying bills, that in reality there would
not be enough money
left in my purse to pay.

The song faded out, to be replaced by the same bored voice of the
afternoon newsreader.

"Norah Bird, The radio, stage and television celebrity, died quietly at
her home this
morning. Miss Bird will be best remembered for her character Phillis
Phlus in Next time
round I'm coming back as a Growbag........"