Plans For The Future (Why Not?)

"What do you plan for the future?" The question startled me. I look over to Jasper, hair shining in the last of the sunlight.

"You know. Psychology." I say, trying to brush the eerie feeling from my body. It was too distracting, this nagging. Like spiderwebs under my skin.

"Yes but what else?" He asks. I hold myself tightly, breathing in deeply. I stare out to the pool. The water was only tinted green and the dirt, worms, and little sinking toys never retrieved gathered in big blotches at the bottom. The dirty state of the pool is driving my mother crazy. Every other day she's out there 'shocking' it, dumping in packet after packet of chlorine.

"You want what I think will happen or what I wish will happen?" He looks at me, tilting his head, blue eyes ever curious. I sigh and look away from him.

"Both."

"OK. But I want to know what you want first."

"I don't." I look over at him.

"You don't want?" He hesitates then shrugs.

"I want Noel." It stung but I wouldn't let him know that. I look to the pool, feeling myself becoming cold on the inside.

"I'll try for college, you know how badly I want to learn," I sneak a peek at him through my peripheral vision. He was staring out at the water longingly. That suited him. "But I won't have enough money," I say, envisioning it in my head. "So I'll get a job waitressing, probably needing to take the night shift," I could see the bags under my eyes already, the exhaustion in the movements of my body, I could see the future me breaking right before my open eyes. I shudder. "I'll get married to a guy who will most likely be an alcoholic, and have kids. They'll be the reason I stay in an abusive relationship." I say, not making eye contact. At least I'm being realistic.

"What do you WANT?" He asks. I sigh.

"Does it matter if it's not what I'm going to get?" I ask, finally meeting those blue eyes. He smiles.

"Why do you have such a bad future planned?"

"It's not planned that way. You're a realist, you should understand." I say, hating to think of it all going that way. But somehow I know it will. "It's not that bad, anyways." He just raises a single eyebrow. I smile, loving how he can do that. I've always thought it quite realistic.

"You'll get better than that." I look up at him, surprised by his presence somehow. I sigh.

"There's only one thing in life I want that I know I'll get."

"What is that?" He asks, watching me as I walk through the gate to the grassy area of my backyard. I pick up a ball and give him a look. He chuckles and walks through the gate at to the opposite end of the yard. I toss him the ball. It's way to the left. He catches it with ease. I smile.

"Kids." He laughs.

"Of course. You're going to have 12." My jaw drops as I barely catch his perfectly thrown ball. He used to play baseball before breaking his arm. Though that doesn't matter because he's naturally good at just about everything he does. I'm graceless, talentless, and my head is always stuck in the clouds.

"WHAT?! Why?!" I say, tossing the ball way above his head so he won't catch it. He does anyways and I can't not smile.

"Yup. Dante and I have decided so." I laugh, missing the ball. I walk after it.

"I'm not going to have 12 kids. I'll turn into a blob!" He laughs.

"It's already been prophesied."

"Fine...then you have to have 36!" I say, laughing like I had just won a battle. He raises his eyes suggestively.

"OK. But I'm only keeping the perfect one." I laugh at the harshness.

"You're horrible, Jasper."

"And you're having 12 kids." I roll my eyes and catch the ball that looked impossible to catch. I shout victoriously.

"DID YOU SEE THAT?!" I shout, dancing around. He laughs.

"You guys still wanting to see the movie?" My dad asks, poking his head out. "If so we need to leave now." I drop the ball on the grass and Jasper follows me back into the house.

* * * * * *

The movie is a 'true story' horror movie. A haunted house movie. Jasper and I go to the movies quite a bit. He always gets me my favorite candy and popcorn to share though it takes work getting me to say what I want.

We sit near the back and talk to each other throughout the movie, making horror comedy. I laugh and realize I shouldn't have. It wasn't a funny part in the movie, it was one of those parts that make people jump. I quickly cover my mouth to hide the giggles that won't stop. He starts laughing with me. I grab the large bucket of popcorn with both hands as popcorn falls to the ground. It only makes me laugh more.

"You're horrible!" I bite my bottom lip, trying to contain the smile.

"I know! I know!" I say, looking at my lap, then at Jasper. "Have you been dropping popcorn on me?" He chuckles quietly.

"Yes." My jaw drops in a fake over reaction.

"Why??" He smiles and starts wiping the popcorn, his hand brushing up against my leg.

"So I have an excuse to touch you." He says jokingly. Jokingly. I look him in the eyes and see something there. Something unidentifiable, frustratingly so.

The movie ends and I can't stop raving how amazing it was and continue joking with Jasper, as we do. Jasper is my favorite person to see movies with simply because we have similar humor, he's good company, and doesn't mind me being a weirdo. Our talking is my favorite part of the movie. After the movie we wait in the cold for our ride. Smokers huddle around one of the doors, packed tightly into each other. A group of girls is off to our left, talking loudly about obscene things to get the attention of a group of boys to our right. I sigh and he looks at me questioningly. I smile. "Nothing."

"Not nothing."

"Valentines day." I say.

"What about it?" I wrench my mouth side to side.

"I think someone's going to ask me to be their valentine."

"Who?"

"I don't want to be their valentine. I don't like them. But I can't break their heart." I say pathetically. This is a dilemma for me. He smiles.

"I'll be your valentine. I don't have one yet." I tilt my head.

"Noel?"

"I'll drop her gift off. She probably has plans anyways." I burn on the inside. Noel, Noel, Noel. They're so in love with each other so why does she choose everyone but him?! If she loves him why doesn't she want him happy, to be with him??

"You're going to spend valentine's day with me?" I ask. He nods. I walk over and hug him. "Thanks."