Shatter .:4: Funeral:.

I wake up unable to breathe. I feel myself convulsing and then I’m looking down on myself. My body is still and looks more like a corpse than a living being. The look on my face is serene, eyes closed, mouth not in a smile nor a frown. I must be sleeping. And then...something happens. An ominous silence before the break. Shadows of demons begin to drag themselves from under my bed. Twisting in impossible ways, they crawl up my bed. Black as visions of hell, they crawl up the posts of my bed, onto the covers and crawl around me. They touch my face and arms, my bare skin, and make the most disturbing sounds. Coaxing to me. I scream for my body to get away but I can’t hear me. The shadows are more now. They are 3D, they are real. They have a strange version of scales and leather skin, horns and spikes, they are sight enough to stop a beating heart. I scream to myself to run away. I don’t do a thing.

My door opens and it’s Dash. The demons ignore him, disown him. All their attention is on me. They reach their hands through my chest. I feel fingers wrap around my heart. It’s the most painful feeling, though I don’t believe my body and I are exactly the same being at this moment. The demon’s hand in my chest, the most malicious smile upon it’s face. It opens it’s mouth, as if to let out a laugh, as if to summon an army of demons much like itself. It’s head slides off its shoulder. I stifle a scream as I look to Dash. Sword in his hand dripping with what I have to assume is demon blood. This isn’t real, I try to convince myself. He looks to my sleeping body with pain. The second and third demon are torn between staying and leaving. They choose to sink into the bed and disappear. Dash stares at me for so long, he pulls a chair up to the side of my bed.

He’s torn on what to do. He drops the sword to the ground where it lands with a clatter. It doesn’t affect him. He stares at me for hours, just watching me sleep. I toss and turn as normal, each time he holds his breath though, somehow, I know he knows I won’t wake up.

“You,” He finally says. “You are going to be my downfall.” He says in a sigh.

WHY?! I want to ask but I don’t even know what he’s talking about, his downfall. What in the world is going on? This doesn’t happen in REAL life! This isn’t real life, this is a dream.

“Why?” My body asks in its sleep though it doesn’t sound like it was for him. He chuckles.

“Because, Trinity, I can’t kill you.” He says. “Because after that stupid ruined car accident, the lack of, I just didn’t want to see you hurt. I don’t LOVE you or anything, Trinity. You’re not the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, you’re not the smartest, funniest, most charming, most clever, skilled, or amusing girl I’ve ever met but I can’t do it. I could spend hours trying to make myself kill you without it happening. I can’t even let other people kill you! No, I don’t love you, but I can’t kill you.”

“Ami.” I groan, my face looking troubled. “Ami DON’T.” I groan. He chuckles again.

“I can’t say I’m sorry to take her away from you. Though she might not really deserve to die, I can’t say I care. Bad blood.” My back arcs and my mouth opens as if I were about to scream.

“Ami! Don’t! Why won’t you listen?!” I thrash for a moment. My body settles and Dash stares at me.

“Yes, she won’t be listening to you.” He says. “You know, you could be useful.” He rubs his eyes. “Very useful.” There’s something hidden in his voice. “Kind of like Emma was.” With that, he stands and leaves.

. . . . . . . . .


I wake up feeling distressed. I drag myself through the hallway and into the bathroom. I brush my teeth and splash water on my face to wake myself up. I dab my face off gently with a towel. Looking into my eyes, past the deep green, into my soul.

Or what is supposed to be my soul. Can one REALLY see a soul through eyes? I can’t see my own. Though I see torment and horrible horrible pain. It makes me smiles.

Walking downstairs, I hear my mom sobbing. I run down the rest of the stairs and to her.

“They forgot to call us.” She tells me.

“What?”


“They fucking forgot to tell me my mother DIED!” She screeches, then breaks down into sobs. I hold her as her her body shakes violently with sobbing. After half an hour she clears her throat. “Go get dressed in your best black clothing. We have a god damned funeral to attend to.” She says, clearing her throat and standing. I take her in my arms and holds her tightly. “Thank you baby.” She whispers.

“Go get dressed mama, I’ll have breakfast ready, I’ll drive and everything will be fine. OK? Take your time.” My mom goes upstairs and gets dressed. I pretend not to hear the sobbing as I try to make breakfast. I will admit tears do fall in the stupid scrambled eggs. I fix us both breakfast burritos and as they cool, I change into a black dress, black boots, a black coat and pull my hair into ponytail. I don’t put on makeup because I know I’ll just cry it all off.

My mom is waiting, dressed in her own black outfit. She looks up at me and I go to the kitchen for our quick meals. She looks at me, eyes red from crying.

“You still have ME mommy,” I tell her, tears streaming down my face.

“I do, I do.” She whispers. “Why won’t they leave me alone?” She sobs into my shoulder. “They take my dad, my husband, my mom and they try to take you? I don’t know what I did!” She says. I look her in the eyes.

“Mom, you didn’t do a DAMNED thing. You’re a fantastic mother, you’re a wonderful person, and you don’t deserve any of this!” I tell her. “We’re going through tough times but we’re going through them TOGETHER! OK? You need me and I’m here.”

“I did well.” She tells me, her face scrunching up as she breaks into tears again.

“You did fantastic. I’m a wonderful person and a fantastic daughter.” She smiles.

“You are.”

. . . . . . . . .

The funeral was full of weeping, sobbing, stone-faced, and broken people. My grandma Elizabeth was very well loved. Not just well liked, well LOVED. Purest of pure hearts, always genuinely happy to see you, to help people she didn’t know, to help people she did know. She was an angel and, though I have limited belief in God and all of that, I believe she’d be the one to make it into heaven if anyone on earth deserved to.

I watch as they lower my granny into the ground, as they lower my mother’s mother into the ground. I squeeze her hand and have to look away. I look up and to the bright blue sky. I would’ve liked it to have been raining, I love the rain and so did granny. We made food, treats actually, when it was raining and sat by the fire reading stories to each other whenever I stayed the night. My grandpa would sit in his rocking chair, watching us as we'd dance around acting out each scene.

Across the way, leaning against the tree, is Dash. Dressed head to toe in black, twirling a rose between the fingers on his right hand, he’s staring at me and I have a feeling he’s been staring at me this entire while.

“I’ll be back.” I tell my mother and practically run to him. “Why?” Is all I ask, out of breath when I get there. The distance was farther than I had thought it to be. He looks up from the rose as if he hadn’t noticed my presence.

“How’s are your sides doing?”

“WHY?!” I ask angrily. “WHY are you here?” But the anger behind my voice couldn’t make the question seem any more WRONG. It’s not why is he here, it’s why is everything bad happening to me?

“Elizabeth was always a sweetheart.” He tells the rose, practically ignoring me. “Always a rosy shade to her cheeks. Always a smile, always SO willing to give.” He looks up at me. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Liar.” I snap. He looks me in the eyes and smiles.

“What a beautiful soul.” I scoff.

“I wish you’d just disappear forever!” I tell him angrily. And then something quite curious happens. He bows and disappears. I blink, rub my eyes, and try to find what happened to him. He’s nowhere to be found. I chance a look back at where granny’s being buried. I can’t take it. I turn away and see a rabbit. A white rabbit. “What on earth are you doing here?” I ask the rabbit. It looks up at me and nods its head away from all of this. I blink. “What?” It doesn’t ‘answer’, it just hops off. I walk after it but it’s fast. I’m soon sprinting after the animal, my dress billowing in the self created breeze. I find myself smiling as I weave through the vast graveyard to find the rabbit.

I’m giggling as it runs around a corner, bushes concealing the new path it’s taken. I take the sharp turn and as soon as I see him, the smile fades from my face. He stands there, kneeling and petting the rabbit. I gulp and try to step backwards.

“Stay.” His voice commands. It’s very smooth and controlled. “You are SUCH a nuisance.” He tells me though he looks at the rabbit while he speaks. “Must I kill everyone you love before you surrender?” He finally looks up at me. Those all consuming eyes, those black holes. He has no soul. “Are you willing or will you fight me?” He asks, standing. The rabbit is in his arms, sticking out against the black of his jacket. I watch him as he pets the rabbit, tail to head. I gulp as his hand hesitates. “Do you love this rabbit?” He asks.

“I...” I clear my throat. “No, it’s just some rabbit.” I tell him. He snaps its neck. The body collides with the ground and I control myself, not allowing him to see me gag. “I don’t care.” I tell him.

“Tears slip down your colorless cheeks.” He informs me. “Come now, and we shan’t need to do a thing to any more loved ones.” He takes a step forward. I turn and sprint, my feet skimming over the ground.

I’ve never been too fond of running. It was my biggest pain at school, running the mile. I hated that I was forced to run in a certain amount of time and it was pass fail no matter what amount of effort one put in. If you weren’t fast enough, you failed. I never liked that.

Now all I’m concerned with is falling in one of the randomly dug up graves.

I’m not fast. I’m about average. That’s bad for this situation because I know the man chasing me is faster. Far faster than any human could hope to be. Which means there’s no point in running.

I stop dead in my tracks, stumbling over myself and a small gravestone. I hit the ground hard and roll. I close my eyes and place my palms to the ground when I hear

“Do you fear being buried alive?” I look up just as his foot collides with my ribs and I go flying back. I’m terrified to find I’m falling which can only mean a dug up grave. I hit the bottom with a thud and look up. The man is smiling down at me. “Many people fears this. I can only imagine why.” He says, pushing a small amount of dirt with his foot. The dirt falls on my face, spreading out and landing on my shoulders as well. I spit the dirt out and begin to panic. I swallow the lump in my throat.

“You can’t hurt me, you shithead!” I scream. Tears are streaming down my face as I realize this is all too much for one person to deal with. I need Ami, I need my mom, I need help. “Because...Because Dash won’t let you.” I say, sobs overcoming the control I thought would last a lot longer than this.

I sit in the hole, crisscross apple sauce style, and bury my face in my hands. I am not strong, I am not happy, I am not sane, I am not myself. I need to fix all of this.

“Ow!” I look up at the object that had hit my head. Rope.

“Come now, you shouldn’t keep your mother waiting.” Dash says.

“Am I supposed to climb it?” I ask, tired.

“You climb as I pull.” He tells me. I place my feet at the bottom of the rope on the large knot. I place my hands on the rope and try to pull myself up. I fall and he starts laughing. It catches and I can’t help but to laugh too, despite the fresh tears on my cheek. “Shall we try that again?” I roll my eyes but, a small smile upon my face, I try again.

I manage to climb a third of the way up before he pulls me over the edge of the grave. I lie on the ground, the ground around it luscious and much more comforting than the dirt, and he looks at me, smiling.

“Does this make me your hero?” I look at him, those crazy blue eyes sane enough to make me not worry.

“You’re a bit cocky.” I tell him.

“Did I not earn the right to brag?” He asks, offering me his hand. I pause before taking it.

“Once is luck, twice is coincidence, three times is when something needs to be done.”

“Like claiming me hero?” He asks. “Because I can count five times.” I look at him. He holds up his hand, lowering a finger with each time he’s saved me. “Saved you from being drugged, saved you from being raped, saved you from that car....” He stops, his smile fading.

“Which car accident?” I ask him.

“Neither was an accident, Trinity.” He says grimly as we make it back to the tree I first saw him at.

“How long will this go on?” I ask, stepping in front of him.

“You don’t want the answer.” He tells me, slipping the rose he was holding earlier in my free hand. I squeeze it until the thorn draws blood. Calmly, I retort.

“What if I don’t want to play this game?” He leans in, lips brushing against my ears.

“You don’t have a choice.” Pause. “I’d watch where you spill your blood, if I were you.” He tells me in a voice so cynical I can’t help but to shiver. I can feel his lips pull back into a smile at the victory of making me shiver and feel rage.

“You’re not the only ones who can win!” I say through my teeth.

“You don’t even know what we’re playing.” He tells me as if I were a child.

“You see, that doesn’t MATTER!” I tell him, a cynical smile of my own taking over. “I suggest taking time off to regroup because if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll have to pull out my own secret weapon.” The insanity behind his eyes made my stomach flip flop over and over.

“Your false bravery is one step away from amusing.”

“It’s only not because you know I know how to manipulate you.” I tell him, my false bravery fueled by anger.

“We’ll see.” He says simply.

“Trinity!” My mom calls. I turn and see not her as a woman, not her as a mother, but her as a scared and lonely girl who just lost her mother. I run over to her as quickly as I can, stumbling but not falling. Into my mothers arm I fling myself. She holds me, a bit too shocked to move at first, and then squeezes me tightly.

“You’re an angel, Trinity. Don’t rush off to heaven too soon.” She whispers to me.