Vinegar

INT: RESTAURANT

Fade in.

Music plays over the scene. A man and woman sat opposite one another; coy smiles, hearty laughter, longing eye contact. First date.

Music stops.

Man is laughing holding a glass of wine. Woman laughs with him holding her knife and fork.

MAN: (Laughter petering out) Are you sure you wouldn’t like some wine? It’s gorgeous…

WOMAN: Oh, no. Thanks all the same. Don’t really like wine if I’m honest!

MAN: Really? I’d never have guessed – just so you know this Merlot from Chile is the only thing I drink. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot to be said for Old World but… honestly, have a sip. Go on.

WOMAN: (Laughs politely) No really, I won’t.

MAN: Ok but-

Man is interrupted. Waiter passes by, woman gets his attention.

WOMAN: Excuse me, I was wondering…

She taps the top of a condiment glass in the middle of the table.

WOMAN (Cont’d): Is this Crosse & Blackwell’s vinegar?

WAITER: (Looks puzzled) Yes… Sarson’s, I believe.

WOMAN: (Smiles) Oh, how delightful.

She unscrews the cap and takes several large gulps. Man stares in shock. Waiter smiles.

WAITER: Would madam enjoy another jar?

WOMAN: Oh, yes please.

WAITER: (As if telling a secret) If I should be so bold I’d recommend the original chippy malt vinegar.

WOMAN: Oh! Fantastic. One jar, please. (Turns to man inquisitively)

MAN: No, thanks…

Waiter leaves with a polite smile. Man looks confused and the woman begins eating again.