It's All Going...

The roof has fallen on me,
my soul is drowning without faith.

I wonder who I am
where am I to go,
how weighty and hard each thing seems
one thing after another happens
it's crazy
I want to kill myself.

Who am I?
I had become so narrow minded
so full of figures
so full of numbers
thinking from outside the box
trying to manipulate reality
but reality will not be manipulated.

I feel the pain
of being alive
hunger that never ends
no contentment of soul
only materialistic excess.

Change me Lord,
make me whole
not this petty little part
Tear me apart and refashion me
so that I am not so little hearted.

Oh God God
I pray to you dearly
how evil could I have been
is there no salvation for me?

Let this be the best day of my life
when I realized that I desperately needed you
where I let go
let go

I pray for you to restore me
to green pastures
let me feel renewal and rebirth
and live out the best days of my life
live out the best days of my life

my life has just begun
let me smile and love and be happy and live
even in pain
even in tough times in which you test me
let me be with you Lord
Do not kill me.

Let me be more organized
let me help others to help themselves
let me grow to have children better than me.

Lord
love me.