The Sun Rose Dead
By Syphon
Mon, 29 Apr 2013
- 1449 reads
7 comments
The sun rose dead
On the day I woke up to find
Everything was a lie
The life I had
Thrown into the wind
To blow away like dry sand
On a deserted beach
The solitary palm tree providing shade
With no-one to cover
The sun rose dead
On the night everything changed
Thrown into the ocean
To be swept along the waves
A lonely piece of timber
The remains of a wreck
With no-one to keep afloat
The dead sun finally set
When the moon rose
To say goodbye
And shines its palelight on the lonely
Walking these streets of emptiness
Until the morning
When the sun will rise
Bright and alive
To kiss the moon goodnight
And start life again
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Comments
Sombre but hauntingly
Permalink Submitted by The Walrus on
Sombre but hauntingly beautiful, Syphon.
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I like this, Syphon, very
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I like this, Syphon, very much.
Just a couple of tiny typos. 'Beach' and you don't need the apostrophe in 'its pale light'.
A nicely structured poem, full of atmosphere, with a poignant, but hopeful ending.
Very much enjoyed.
Tina
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A good poem, Syphon, full of
Permalink Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
A good poem, Syphon, full of battering rams. Richard
Richard L. Provencher
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