A hundred moments in autism - Hiding my work away

By Terrence Oblong

Sat, 15 Mar 2025
  • 55 reads
3 comments
 

I am working in a policy and public affairs role for a London based charity. 

I have done next week’s work, a detailed policy briefing needed for a parliamentary debate in two week’s time, having already completed all of the necessary work for the day. 

But I don’t save it in the shared drive, as I don’t want people to know I’ve written it. I keep it in a separate folder on my desktop and email a copy to myself so that it isn’t lost. I will move it to the shared drive when it’s ‘due’ and not before.  

I have what is known in the autistic community as Fluctuating Productivity. Some days I rattle through things at impossible speed (I’ve been described as a ‘factory’ for the rate I could write reports, briefings and similar documents).  But like many autists, I also suffer from days where my output is poor, I struggle to focus on more than the most basic of tasks and the idea of writing a long, complex briefing paper is beyond me.  

Which I why I developed the habit in my fluid periods of saving work secretly for days when I just couldn’t function.  

Uneven productivity is a common feature with autists. Unpredictable spurts of creativity and focus followed by a crash.  

The problem was worse when I commuted to work on a crowded commuter train, and the stress of the added long periods of unpleasant confinement in overcrowded spaces with generally unpleasant people meant that I arrived at work some days so burnt out I could barely find the energy to enter my computer password. 

These days, I work within walking distance, which means that I can function pretty much normally even on a bad day, so no need to squirrel away my work for the hard times. 

Certificate 15
Biography
50 moments in autism
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Sooz006 on

I like the word autists, I haven't heard it before and am more familiar with autistics, but I like autists, it feels intentional. 

Is this an autistic thing, or just a thing? Maybe it's more profound for an autist, but I think everybody has days when they're more productive than others.

I get the effect that outside stimuli and interference have though. I have one little boy on my run who can't travel with others. The slightest overload and his meltdown is spectacular. We pulled up in the middle of one. This kid is very small for an 8-year-old, tiny little dot of a thing. One teacher was bleeding, another one had a lump of hair on the floor and was crying and a third teacher was lying on top of this kid in the carpark until he came out of his overload and had control of himself, (busy street). When engaging with him, you have to say one thing, a short sentence. 'Have you had a good day?' And then sit in silence while he processes what you've asked him. He doesn't like to be touched or helped and it can take 5 minutes for him to process, 'Put your seatbelt on.' And we can't use 'empty' words like please, which I find difficult. 

I like your method of storing and dispensing. 

 

Submitted by Terrence Oblong on

A lot of the examples I give are (possibly) more common in autists, but apply to many neurotypicals as well.  

I saw an autistic podcaster talking about it and recognised the phenomena, I distinctly remember my secret stash of work.  Autists often feel vulnerable in their job, no matter how well they perform they don't tick the right boxes with management, so having a bad day and being seen as unproductive could cost you your job.  

 

Submitted by celticman on

I guess most people that write on a semi-reguarly basis recognise there will be honey and saltier days. I like your approach. Common sense in a mad world.