Kit Handsome and a busy day in politics (1)

“My dog lacks the mental capacity to form criminal intent,” said Missy Johnson.

This was going to be one of those days, thought Kit. He’d hoped for a quiet time, Sally was staying with him for a few days, ‘just to see’. The last time she’d come to visit was when the stolen haddock case had blown up and she hadn’t seen him at all for three days. 

“Riding a bike after dark without lights is against the law,” Kit repeated.

“Snoozles is a dog. She doesn’t have the mental capacity to form criminal intent,” Missy Johnson repeated.

“If your dog isn’t responsible, I shall have to arrest you,” said Kit.

“You can’t arrest me, I’m not riding the bike. Snoozles is riding the bike. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

Kit sighed, this was more trouble than it was worth. “Okay, I’ll let you go. But get some lights for the bike, it’s dangerous for a dog to be riding a bike in the dark without lights.”

“Snoozles can cope just fine, he’s the world champion performing dog cyclist.”

“That won’t help if a car can’t see him and knocks him down.  Even award-winning performing dogs need to employ sensible road safety precautions.”

“What we need is a proper world-class canine-performance park with lighting.”

“You should write to the mayor.”

“I’m doing one better than that, I’m running for mayor. If I win, I’ll introduce a proper performing dog area. Every dog on Boonhill should have the same opportunities Snoozles has had. With illumination.”

“We’ve had to let her go,” Kit said to Megson, his desk sergeant, as Missy left. 

“Just as well, it would look bad the day before the election, locking up one of the candidates. Especially with the Mayor in the station.”

“The Mayor is here?”

“In the kitchen with Harkaway, making coffee.  Don’t worthy though Kit, the Mayor knows how to work the coffee machine.”

Kit hurried into the kitchen.

“Mr Mayor,” said Kit. “Is Harkaway looking after you.”

“He’s showing me how to work the coffee machine,” said Harkaway. “Apparently I don’t put enough coffee in, which is why you always complain it’s weak.”

“I understand you’re bringing Sally to the election hustings tonight, Kit” said the Mayor.

How could you possibly know that, Kit thought, but said nothing. You had to be careful what you said to politicians.

“If she’s here she might come,” he said instead

“It’ll be great to finally meet her, I’ve heard so much about her.”

“I didn’t realise I’d ever mentioned her?” said Kit.

“Not from you, Kit. The whole island knows you keep your cards close to your chest about Sally. But I’m part of the ‘what’s this Sally like’ Facebook group, you’d be surprised what people have found out.”

“Is this why you’re here?” asked Kit. “To grill me on Sally.”

“No, I wanted to check up on the police presence tonight.”

“I’ve just told you that I’ll be there,” said Kit. 

“Yes, but with Sally. I’m worried that security will be compromised if you’re distracted.”

“The police presence is more a tradition than anything,” said Kit. “This is the Boonhill mayoral race, we hardly need ‘security’.  It’s not as if you’re standing against Vladamir Putin and need to be kept away from first floor windows.”

“This is the most hotly contested election in Boonhill’s history, Kit. Politics is pretty explosive right now, Kit. You need to be on top of your game.”

“I’ll be on top of my game,” said Kit. “And it won’t just be me, Harkaway will be there.”

“I will,” said Harkaway enthusiastically, “It’s my first election hustings, I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Well, if you’re sure you can handle it Kit, I’ll see you tonight.”

They said goodbye to the Mayor and Kit helped himself to a mug of coffee.

“This is actually good coffee,” he said.

“Hang on,” said Harkaway, “It looks as if the Mayor’s come back.”

“Mr Mayor,” said Kit. “What is it now?”

“I’d like to report a crime.”

“You’re in the right place,” said Kit. “What is it?”

“It’s the Mayor, he has been fiddling his expenses.” He handed over a bulging blue file. “This is a copy of his accounts, and a sample of receipts. I want you to investigate him for corruption.”