The mysterious ballad of the irritating man who thinks he knows people Part 1

It was a dark Saturday night, when a drunken man drunkenly crashed his way into 10 Downing street. He wore a ragged pitstiped suit and held an open bottle of brandy is one hand, and a pipe in the other.

"HEY, MR BLAIR!" He roared up the stairs. There was a band and crash as the current Prime

Minister, who isn't Tony Blair appeared. 

"What's all this here noise marlarky!?" The prime minister shouted.

"Hey, Tony!" The man roared amicably, we met on that hill walking holiday in Edinburgh. "Do you want go for a jolly jape and a drink?

"One, I'm not Tony Blair, two, there's no hills in Edinburgh and three, it's 3 in the F***ing morning!" He shouted.

"You are Tony Blair. He became Prime Minister, you are Prime Minister, ero, you must be Tony Blair"

The two men were both shouting, now. the Prime Minister roared: (not literally)  Do you understand the concept of democracy? Prime MInisters change!"

The man continued talking in his Scottish accent, but with a droning, irritating high-pitched voice "Right, I've tried being civil, but if you, my oldest friend is going to viciously snubb me, I have no choice but do this!" He punched him in the face.

The Prime Minister punched him back, then a vicous beating-fest occured until 8pm the next afternoon. (16 and a half hour, later)

The irritating man spat several teeth and bits of broken pipe from his mouth and mumbled: "I just realized, Tony Blair doesn't have black hair... toodle-oo, old bean!" and he sauntered off, singing the Aserbajani national anthem at the top of him voice with a Brazilian accent.

"Ta-ra, old boy! Thanks for the brandy!" The current prime minsiter said and slammed the door shut.

The man realized that he'd left his brandy bottle at number 10...

                                                         TO BE CONTINUED