Courtship Lake I.P.

Cherry

By threeleafshamrock

Mon, 24 Aug 2009
  • 2801 reads
10 comments
 

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2637/3827647244_cabbcdb384_m.jpg

They came to the lake at summer’s eve,
we watched them, necks extended;
our hands; canopies against the sun.
You pulled a handkerchief from your sleeve
and waved as they descended,
their long excursion done.

We watched all through the early days
and the courtiers slavish preening.
You were my queen and ordered my love;
Impressed by your subjects mad displays,
two hearts were soon convening
and became one heart thereof.

Certificate U
Poem
Lurve Ramblings
Love

Comments

Submitted by hilary west on
Very pithy.

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
He was her 'Sir Lovealot'...what can I say..;)

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'They came to the lake at summer’s eve, we watched them, necks extended; our hands; canopies against the sun.' - gorgeous first few lines Chris! A brilliant poem ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Ewan on
Hi Chris, have a think about 'macho': does it fit with the rest of the language of the poem? Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
No Ewan it doesn't; changed it to slavish (also thought of servile). Wasn't really happy with second stanza on reading and nearly cut it out completely. Thanks for that, I hadn't the time to come back to it.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks Magic ;)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Wow, thanks for the cherry folks; going out to buy a lottery ticket now ;)

Submitted by sunshine on
is the 2nd stanza here the one you reffered to above? If so you were right to keep it in. Good stuff. Hope you have the same degree of success with the lottery ticket. M

Submitted by sarah wilson on
Fantastic. You have been writing brilliantly while I have been away Chris. Nice cherry:) sarah x

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks Sarah; didn't expect a cherry for this one - didn't think it was good enough. Just goes to show... ;)