My Sisters Cherry (I.P.)

My sister lost her cherry
By the bike sheds round the back
I know cos dad told mummy
Just last night in the sack

I think that it was magic
cos I heard him mention witch
and there could have been a female dog
cos I thought I heard, ‘the bitch’.

Our neighbours must have been there
cos I’m sure I heard Bill Tucker
and a guy I never heard of
by the name of Randy Fucker.

Dad said that Sis was lucky
if she wasn’t up some sticks
and he thinks she likes injections
cos he said she’s mad for pricks.

If up on sticks ain’t bad enough
she could be up the duff
cos some bloke called 'Horny Barstod'
was buried in her muff.

I bought a big red cherry
with my money at the store
cos dad said, if Sis’ lost hers
he’ll change her name to whore

I hope this solves the problem
cos it really wasn’t cheap
but it will all be worth it
if it means I get some sleep.