Twelve Inches (but I don’t use it as a rule)

My twelve inch dick is quite a chore
my girlfriend never screeches ‘More!’
Without the gel, it gets quite sore -
like, every time I use it.

I don’t know how it came to be
My cock grew like a small oak tree;
it hangs down to my bloody knee
I’d love sometimes to lose it!

Sometimes at night it makes me shriek
if I must pop out for a leak;
the water’s cold, I feel a freak
and quickly elevate it

My girlfriend once started to shake
while in the garden with a rake;
she thought it was a bloody snake
and now it’s perforated

So all you guys that pray to God
for a mickey like a cattle prod,
that you could carry in a hod;
be careful what you wish for

For you could end up like I am,
subject of every hidden cam;
just good for ‘Wham, Bam thank you Mam.’
or a career in hardcore.