Shall I make tea?

Cherry

By torscot

Tue, 10 Mar 2015
  • 4658 reads
16 comments
 

woke up this morning

 

to hear a child crying

from the rooms above

a man shouts in a language

i don’t understand

 

a woman muffles

a scream

i understand the sound

of a muffled scream

 

the child calls out

in a language

i don’t understand

but mama I hear

 

a door

slams

a weeping

silence falls

 

i shall make

sweet tea

and take

it upstairs

 

my sweet tea

is soothing and

good for

the soul

 

then again

perhaps not

it is none of

my  business

 

 

 

 

Certificate 15
Poem

Comments

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Quite a noisy wake up, torscot. I'm also jumping out of the bed in the morning because of my neighbours noise. Like the idea!

Good luck for comp!

Submitted by torscot on

Thanks Tibi

Ahh,  the speed of the internet I was just on my to visit your tales when you kindly posted a comment first

Regards

torscot

Submitted by VeraClark on

This is smoothly written and very sad.Love the juxtaposition of safe sweet tea with the subtle noise. Full of threat. Best of luck, Torscot.

 

Submitted by torscot on

Thanks for the   "...smoothly written..." comment Vera, nice to read you thought so, quite chuffed I am.

It is indeed full of  threat. The possibility of domestic violence  scene occuring.

And the tea person deciding against getting involved, that's the sad part.

Kind regards

torscot

Submitted by Bee on

I really like this. Caring, but not wanting to get involved, and walking away at the last mo - that is sad. But perhaps not being sure made him scared of being wrong. Tea seemed a good idea, though. Made me think. 

Is this a poem, rather than a story?

Bee

Submitted by torscot on

Thanks Bee

 "...Is this a poem, rather than a story?..."

 I shall transfer it over to poetry as you suggest

Thanks again for commenting

 

torscot

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Poem, or story, Torscot, this hits where it really hurts.  Made me think, too.  Long and hard. Thank you.

Tina

 

Submitted by torscot on

A late thanks to you sandlady for reading and commenting.

As Bee pointed  out, poetry or story, I was unsure, so went down the poetry route.

I hope you will be posting  an competition entry soon ?

Regards

torscot

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Torscot

Very punchy and pithy. Few well chosen words for a huge concept. Well done.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by torscot on

Thank for commenting Jean.

I may go further with this tale and take a pot of tea upstairs for all to share

Regards.

 

torscot

Submitted by celticman on

perhaps it's nobody's business. that's always the problem and dilemma. 

 

Submitted by torscot on

"...always the problem and dilemma..."

How true celticman. You never know how events will go when you get yourself involved.

Still, a knock on the door and pretend to be selling double glazing, then see what happens.

Regards

torscot

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

A great take on a difficult situation.  The pace is just right.  Uncomfortable reading.

 

Linda

Submitted by torscot on

Thanks for commenting on this piece

It is  "...Uncomfortable reading..."  as you say.

It happens all to often, do you get involved or remain distant.

Regards.

PS    When are you going to post a comp entry ?

torscot

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

Thanks for asking, Torscot.  I just this minute did that very thing! 

Linda

Submitted by torscot on

Please to read you have posted an entry LWC

" ... I just this minute did that very thing! ..."   I wish could multi-task like that.

Reading a post while sending one I shall pop up and read your entry asap.

Regards

 

 

torscot