Plan for the sleeping nations
By Tuegr8
- 373 reads
In the year 2095 two nations overheated war finally, let loose into nuclear war. We start off at a cabin where we introduce Gauss. He’s getting out of bed and getting dressed for the day, he steps out and breathes in the mountain air. He walks over and starts to check things off his list and then goes to chop firewood. When he feels a giant ruble underneath his feet that knocks him down. He looks behind him, seeing a mushroom cloud the size of multiple mountains stacked on top of each other he thinks about the bunker and scrambles to his feet to head into the concrete bunker. As he throws open the doors he closes them just in time for the blast to sweep over the doors. What confuses Gauss is the air is freezing cold. He heads down the deep deep bunker. He grabs a flashlight, turns it on, finds the breaker, and flips the switch turning on the air supply and lights. He starts talking about the food and water. He then sits on the bed and starts having a breakdown thinking about Ghost and his parents most of all not being as nearly well-stocked and didn’t have a finished bunker unlike him it was still being built by them. As the hours pass he hears a horrible blizzard getting started. But it’s summer so that should be impossible. As the two weeks pass, we zone back in and Gauss mentions the blizzard ending a week ago but now he thinks it’s snowing outside. He ventures outside, driven back into the shelter by the bitter cold. These mountains hardly get cold at all. He bundles up the best he can and heads back out. Much better prepared this time. He ventures into his cabin to see some of his windows shattered and a heavy thing of snow putting pressure on the roof. He then gets his gear together and starts to walk over to his parent’s house through the thick snow. It’s already late and he doesn't get very far before he has to stop for the night and make a shelter underneath the snow fallen tree. At this point the climate hasn’t gotten bad yet at max, it’s only 4 degrees maybe. So he bundles in for the night. During the night he hears strange growling and heavy footsteps he’s never heard before. He finally falls asleep. He wakes up and manages to make himself a fire to warm up before he heads off again. Shortly after he sets off he finds his parent’s cabin. It looks like a part of the roof caved in and the front door looks like it hasn’t been opened in a while due to the amount of snow piled in front of it. His heart gets heavy as he clears the snow and struggles to open the iced-over door. As it gives way he heads inside. No one is inside from the looks of it or maybe there asleep. He calls out to them but no answer comes and his heart gets heavier. He searches the rooms trying to find them. As he reaches the master bedroom shut door he hesitates then heads inside. His heart shatters when he sees them frozen to death laying on the bed cuddled together with smiles on their faces. He drops to his knees and starts sobbing he begins blaming himself and stands back up again. He walks back outside and grabs a shovel from the stool shed. He then plows it into the ground. We then fast forward to him looking at their freshly covered graves and he cries some more. He heads back inside and salvages what he can, which isn’t much but a couple of cans of soup and frozen water. He heads back despite it being almost dark out and tromps through the snow feeling hypothermia overcoming him but he doesn’t care. He eventually reaches his bunker about frozen to death, he walks inside and shuts the hatch. He sets down his packs and just falls into bed. For three days he doesn’t get up and just lays there. On the third day, he decides to go up to his cabin and just sit on the couch and cry some more. Once on the couch, some hours pass with just him drinking beer. And all of a sudden he hears a knock at the door. He goes to answer it and opens it to find his childhood friend Ghost standing there. Ghost immediately hugs Gauss and Gauss is slow to return it. Ghost senses something is wrong and pulls away and leaves his hands on Gauss's shoulders. Ghost asks him what’s wrong and Gauss says for him to sit down real fast. Gauss and he share a drink talking about what Gauss is upset about. Gauss tells him he found his parents dead in their cabin when he found them. Gauss goes on to be angry at his parents for not listening to him about the bunker and stocking up. Ghost calms him down saying he doesn’t mean that. Ghost gets his attention saying he also could use help with something. Gauss aggress but he’s not sure how much help he’ll be. Ghost explains his story of the detonations. He was in another town buying supplies for his tribe and was about to head back. He felt the tremble and ducked behind the counter. He felt the cold wash over him as the glass windows shattered he ran back into the conference room and huddled against the A/C unit. He figured he needed to bundle up so once he did he headed out already getting cold. He headed towards the panic shelter for this town just barely getting in people accusing him of a spy that was sent to snuff out the survivors. He eventually gets let in and huddled up inside the bunker for the first week and a half. Tensions in the bunker were high and led to fights murders and sabotage. Eventually, Ghost thought he’d be safer out there than in here. So he left during the night and holed up in one of the stores making a makeshift barrel fire with the things he had scavenged. He then started the long trek back home. When he got back to his tribe he was devastated. Not one of them had survived. All of them were frozen solid. He stayed there for another few days burying every single last one of them. When he finished he knew only one last person that might be still alive. So he walked to Gauss's cabin and then now here we are. Gauss is absolutely devastated; he had a lot of good friends in that tribe. Well, make up some names and what they mean to Gauss here. Gauss is taken back by how much Ghost has lost and is still holding it together. Ghost tells him he’s not trying to say he’s lost more than Gauss but he’s trying to tell Gauss we have to carry on the people’s memory, The two hug and then Ghost says. Let’s get to work. Next, we fast forward five whole years. Gauss is down in the bunker taking inventory of their food. Ghost comes down shaking off the snow from his coat and asks him how the food looks. Gauss finishes writing on the paper and looks up to Ghost worried. They’re running out of food and either of them hasn’t seen any deer or wildlife in weeks. Ghost sighs and says he will try harder to find some food for them. Gauss says no and continues to say he’ll make a trip into the city to find some more food. Ghost argues that it’s an extremely dangerous trip this time of year when the weather gets worse. Ghost says to at least let him come with him. Gauss says no that he needs someone to stay and supervise the cabin and also keep looking for wildlife just in case the trip to the city is a bust. Gauss grabs a pack from a locker and a satchel and takes the bare minimum rations from the storeroom in the bunker to leave Ghost with enough rations to last him the maximum amount of time if Gauss doesn’t make it back. Ghost says for him to stop talking like that but Gauss says it’s not fun to talk about but it’s likely a possibility. He begins to grab some dry firewood for one night and starts to head out, Ghost stops him and says at least let him bless him before he sets off like they always do. I’ll think of a blessing that Ghost always does and put it here. Gauss thanks Ghost for all he does and begins to set off. Here we’ll do a brief summary of his walk through the thick woods and make it creepy. Now at the city's entrance/limits. He looks at the setting sun and starts to look for a place to sleep for the night. As he walks through the city not a single creature is moving just the winds of the snow. He eventually finds an old convenience store. In the convenience store when he clears it out he finds a mind wisp and kills it. Finding some old canned food in a box underneath one of the shelves he cracks it open and enjoys cooking it over a fire he made with just a spark lighting magnesium and flint because it has no fluid. During the night a Snow strider enters the convenience store. Gauss quietly moves to the back of the store in the office and trains his gun on the door. Eventually, the Snowstrider opens the door, Gauss opens fire as the Snowstrider runs to him. The Snowstriders leap for him. Gauss shoves his gun into its mouth as its claws go into his stomach and blow its skull open. He shoves the body off of him feeling the claws pull out of his stomach and the very body thuds on the ground. He bandages himself and tries to get some sleep. Gauss wakes up in the morning and searches the office he’s in for documents for information. After searching he finds a shipment log from a warehouse where most of the stores around here get their products. He heads out and after a while, he finds the warehouse. He searches around the building for an entrance and finds one of the roll-up doors pried open and now messed up as if a large group of something crawled into the warehouse. He draws his gun and crawls underneath the door. He enters the warehouse looking for any signs of creatures. He eventually finds the group huddled around a fire in the middle of the warehouse. Gauss draws on them and asks them what they're doing in the city he thought nobody lived here. The leader draws a weapon on them as well. Gauss looks at the group most are starved, dehydrated, and scared with deep bags under their eyes. The leader drops his arms and drops the guns. He tells Gauss if he’s going to kill them, make it quick, and if he’s going to take their stuff sorry but they don’t have any. Gauss drops his gun and contemplates what he’s about to say. He eventually asks them some questions. How long they’ve been in the city they answer ever since the bombs dropped. He asks if they’ve killed anyone they answer no they’ve never even seen another person out of their group. Gauss then tells them if they pull their weight and help them bring back as much food as possible they can stay with them. Orso tells them he’s flattered but they don’t know him. The group then argues that they should take a vote. After whispering for a bit they turn around and say they'll accompany him and will see if they want to stay after seeing what his camp is like. Gauss is pleased to hear this. Orso orders his people to start gathering as much as they can carry and follow Gauss. After the group heads out during the trip back to the cabin we introduce the group’s characters here. When they finally arrive there, they are greeted by Ghost whose eyes widen, then his face falls into a soft smile as he looks at Gauss. Ghost stops him when arriving at the cabin saying if he could speak with them privately in the cabin as they unload the food. Gauss nods and directs the group into the bunker into the storeroom. Gauss and Ghost sit down at a table. Ghost opens by saying it warms his heart to see Gauss give such charity, but Ghost is worried about where the group is going to sleep. The cabin is already only meant for one person. Gauss thinks for a minute thinking there’s always room on the floor but Gauss thinks they deserve better than that Gauss says they can have his bed. Ghost once again is touched but brings up the issue of being cramped. Gauss hatches an idea to take the group’s leader with him next time he goes into the city to look for information on potential spots for a bigger camp, little also gives Gauss a chance to get to know Orso better. Ghost thinks that’s a good idea and tells them they’re probably done unloading by now and that they should go tell them their plan. Gauss and Ghost step outside with the group standing around some whispering to each other and some just staring at the ground. Gauss announces the plan and the group becomes angry. Orso settles them down saying they should be grateful Gauss even let them stay at all let alone didn’t attack them on sight, saying it would have been an easy fight considering how weak they were. Orso agrees to Gauss’s plan, saying to the group they'll watch each other’s backs while in the frozen city. Gauss then continues to say it’s getting pretty late and they should all get settled in for the night. Gauss lays down blankets and straightens out the bed and couches. After staring at the ceiling for a while once he thinks everyone is asleep. He grabs a hard lemonade from the icebox and heads out onto the porch. After sitting for a bit the front door then opens and Orso walks out. Orso asks if he could join him and Gauss of course says yes. Orso takes a seat and pulls out a beer he got from the warehouse and kept to himself. They both laugh and toast to building the future on friendship. After a few moments of silence Orso begins to talk about the group’s backstory and what they’ve been through before Gauss found them. Gauss is saddened by the tales Orso tells. Orso then brings up the idea of heading out the next day to go look for information on potential spots for their new camp. Gauss thinks he just got back today but then says, of course, mentioning, One, of course, he'll need to talk to Ghost about it but he’s positive he’ll say yes. Gauss says he admires Orsos eagerness and says that by now they’re drinks are begging to freeze as they down the rest they head back inside and get some rest. The next morning the group begins to suit up in their jackets and boil their water in their canteens and warm up. As the group is doing this Gauss takes Ghost to the side and mentions the plans Orso mentioned last night for today Ghost agrees the sooner the better but also mentions to watch over Orso and make sure nothing bad happens to him because if something does the group will most likely blame Gauss and probably get violent. Gauss understands this and says he'll get Orso and together they'll tell the rest of them the plan. Gauss finds Orso and together they announce to the group they will both be leaving today. The group announces that their suspicious of him taking their leader as everyone in the group is very fond of him. Orso once again calms the group down saying this is definitely what’s best for the group. The group quiets down and one by one they agree. Gauss thanks Orso then talks to the group and tells them if they need anything from the frozen city they need to give Gauss a list of what they should look out for while they search the city. The group then does this and one by one they turn in their lists to Gauss as he and Orso get ready. Orso and Gauss are now ready and head out. The group and Ghost stand at the front of the cabin. Ghost approaches him and Orso and blesses them. Orso then orders the group to listen to Ghost and tells them he’s very wise and is to be treated with respect. Orso and Gauss set off. After walking for a bit they look at the lists. Through the lists, we learn a little bit about each character. Then they note the biggest items on the list. The number one thing they need is a vehicle of some kind so they can carry more throughout their journey. The second is better arctic gear, food, and weapons. After walking for a bit they begin to discuss encounters with different mutants. When Gauss mentions Wendigos Orso’s smile fades away and the conversation ends. When they finally arrive Gauss says they should stay in the convenience store he stayed in yesterday for the night. Orso agrees and they stay in the office. After getting settled in, Gauss and Orso begin to talk about the dangers of this mission. As far as they know nobody has gone this far into the frozen city before. They both check the batteries on their Geiger counters and get some sleep. The next morning Gauss’s watch wakes them both up, they rekindle the fire and talk about where they should go first. The best choice of action right now would be to find an information center so they can find their way around the city and go ahead and see if they can find a better spot for their camp. As they boil their water and warm up for the day they stomp out the fire. THey head out. They walk through the city looking for some kind of tourist center or something. As they turn a corner they see a horde of hellfires in the middle of an intersection. As they need to pass they formulate a plan. They sneak over to a shoe store and hide inside watching the horde from the windows. Orso then says he pulls out a road flare saying he could draw them away. He pulls it out and almost bolts out the door but Gauss stops him and says why don’t they climb on top of the roof and just throw it away from them. Orso chuckles nervously and says oh yeah. Gauss says he can throw pretty far so he climbs up. As he sees the horde down below he strikes the flare and throws it as far as he can. Hitting the ground and the red light reflection off the white snow it easily attracts the attention of the hoard and they begin to wander over to the flare as they wander over Gauss spots, a sort of clearing in a direction To be contiuned
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Comments
you have the makings of a
you have the makings of a story here, but I think you need to slow down and give more background details. Maybe describe more of each situation as they arise, it would help in showing rather than telling.
I would break the writing up into paragraphs too, it makes reading easier.
My advice is only given as a reader, I'm not an editor. But I'm sure that people into this kind of story will enjoy once you've edited.
Hope that helps.
Jenny.
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A big welcome to ABCTales
A big welcome to ABCTales from me too. Could you please seperate this into paragraphs? It's incredibly hard to read as a huge block of text, and it's a shame as it will put off your readers
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