Black Grape Cat Disorder

Cherry

By Turlough

Fri, 21 Jul 2023
  • 794 reads
10 comments
 

Osem our cat is black and white

He’ll eat whatever comes in sight

He eats all day and he eats all night

No bounds exist to his appetite

 

He eats things cats just shouldn’t eat

A diet not confined to meat

Disgusting things found in the street

Or a lentil curry are quite a treat

 

Our other cats just growl and glare

The dogs we have don’t get their share

If hungry Osem’s teeth are bare

Awaiting grape or fig or pear

 

Our mealtimes are always filled with dread

He wants our jam and he wants our bread

You’d think this cat had never been fed

We have to lock him in the shed

 

From the piles he eats we can tell he

Isn’t ill, he isn’t smelly

We suspected worms were in his belly

When from his arse came vermicelli

 

Down to the vet we went with haste

All parasites would be displaced

By pills, said the vet looking quite glum-faced

As long as the cat didn’t mind the taste

 

We broke one up in a bowl with tuna

He’d probably have preferred a king prawn bhuna

We wished the vet had seen him sooner

As he ate the lot all in good humour

 

But nothing changed for our little glutton

If only cats had a reset button

Or a gastric band that we could put on

To calm our voracious fluffy wee smilodon

 

Image:

Every image I use is from a photograph I have taken myself. 

On this occasion – Osem, our fluffy wee smilodon.

Certificate U
Poem
Poetry in Commotion
Humour
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

He looks extremely healthy for all that strange diet! I had a cat once who would go into a tea frenzy whenever someone had a cup - nothing would stop him until he'd managed to get some

 

Submitted by Turlough on

The strangest of our cats is the one that will only eat dry cat food, turning her nose up at chicken, fish and stuff I would have gladly eaten myself.

I've never heard of a cup of tea type cat befor though.

Thanks for the cherries. I only hope the cat doesn't get them. 

Turlough

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Makes me glad we haven't got cats, thougjh our family in the annex got a kitten, who has recently started to hunt. They're expecting to move quarter of a mile away, so they'll try to keep it in awhile, but I wonder how soon he will turn up here again! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I'd never really considered myself an animal lover but since I've retired I've acquired seven cats from the street that would have died if we hadn't taken them in and I've watched them all grow from kittens. Each has a totally different character and each is very amusing and affectionate in its own way. I find it very calming to have them around me.

But moving house with a cat is tricky. Good luck to the family in the annex.  

Turlough

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

He was a very strange cat!

 

Submitted by celticman on

contened cat is a well-fied drat. 

 

Submitted by marandina on

We would all prefer a king prawn bhuna. Not so much cats, though. They really would eat ad infinitum if allowed! . Cool poem, cool pic :) 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Thanks very much!

Actually I could eat king prawn bhuna ad infinitum too, given the opportunity.

Turlough

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Turlough, 

your poem reminds me of a ginger tom we once had, he too would consume anything, and was so greedy we'd have to shut him out of the kitchen so the other two cats we had would be able to eat their food in peace. He didn't ever eat curry though, but loved bits of apple and banana.

I loved the photo of Osem, definitely a cool cat. A credit to you and a great poem too.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Our other cats have strange eating habits too but only Osem met the criteria of this weeks IP thing.

One of them loves dog food, which is handy because our dogs love cat food. We're tempted to get a budgie to confuse the situation even further.

Turlough