More Elaines

Cherry

By Turlough

Fri, 15 Mar 2024
  • 1418 reads
22 comments
 

 

It’s an absolutely awful shame

There aren’t more women like old Elaine

Pulling pints was what she did

When my mates and I were spotty kids

To quench our thirsts and keep us sane

 

I’m sure she must have known we’d been

Not much older than sixteen

In her pub she’d sell us beer

As in our minds we’d always fear

That proof of age had to be seen

 

Her beady eye and Yorkshire charm

Meant there was always peace and calm

A place quite safe to go and drink

Each Friday night, no need to think

Much further than the Cricketers’ Arms

 

As long as we did nothing bad

Like fight or swear to drive her mad

She’d let us chat and joke and smoke

But we’d keep tight-lipped whenever she spoke

As if for the night she’d become our dad

 

The youth today must find it hard

As from the pub they’re always barred

So instead for fun they find the need

To drink cheap cider, smoke their weed

In parks, bus shelters and graveyards

 

Some kids rob, some use cocaine

While the powers that be don’t have the brains

To see these youngsters’ mindless crimes

Might be prevented much of the time

If they’d only give us more Elaines

 

Image: This isn’t Elaine but another woman I met many years after I had known Elaine and who reminded me of her a bit. 

Certificate 12
Poem
Poetry in Commotion
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I remember once, I was in a pub in a small village and the phone rang. The woman at the bar answered it, then put the phone down and said 'Natalie your dad's on his way' - so Natalie (I assume) said thank you, got up and left the premises. Thank goodness for all the Elaines in the world!

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Elaines were educators in social etiquette. I'm sure learnt more from my Elaine than I did from my chemistry teacher. 

And thank you for the cornelian cherries.

Turlough

Submitted by marandina on

"...Her beady eye and Yorkshire charm

Meant there was always peace and calm.."

 

A fine tribute to Elaine. A lilting rhythm gives this an almost anthemic quality.

 

Drinking cheap cider and smoking weed in graveyards just isn't the same. Although, I can't validate that in any way not having drunk cheap cider or smoked week. I have been in graveyards, though.

 

Nicely done, T. Enjoyed reading.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

But what else are graveyards for Paul? 

Many manyh thanks for reading and commenting and all that. 

Turlough

Submitted by mickleinapickle on

The world needs more Elaines.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Aye! People forget that nobody performed 'Singing the Blues' better than Frank Elaine.

Turlough

Submitted by seashore on

Ha, that's one for the oldies, though I think it was Tommy Steel who sang that. I went to see him in Newcastle - he's still around, even older than me.

Anyway, well done x

Submitted by Turlough on

I remember Tommy Steele from long long ago, but he's only 87. I thought he was older than that.

I wonder if his little white bull is still around.

Turlough

Submitted by seashore on

As soon as I pressed post I realised I'd left the 'e' off his name. I saw a photo of him online days ago and he looks amazing for 87.

Little white bull?? Am I missing something...in addition to the 'e'?
I bought his first record...or one of...Rock around the Town. Googled the White Bull song...didn't remember that.

Submitted by Turlough on

Little White Bull was a rock n roll anthem...

https://youtu.be/PDFiWxz8dqs?si=xzj1_-TqTFjuFV5U

Maybe it was before your time Coral.

It was a film as well as a song.

And Half a Sixpence.

And What a Picture.

They don't make them like ar Tommy no more!

Tx

 

 

 

Turlough

Submitted by seashore on

It's all coming back to me now Terry though would have thought it was more likely to be before your time...

Hope Elaine forgives us for going off track a bit.

Submitted by Turlough on

If Elaine's still around she'll be older than Tommy Steele, so I reckon we've got away with it.

Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum, W-e-e-a-ay
What a picture, what apicture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam'ly album

Turlough

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

More Elaines indeed. Happy days of my own come flooding back.

Some of us girls at the age of 14, used to be really cheeky, getting older guys in the George pub on Shirehampton Green, Bristol to buy us a cheap half a cider in the school lunch break. We thought we were so clever because we never got caught. Sometimes the guys would buy us a half a cider too. We would go back to school a bit bleary eyed but happy.

Enjoyed your poem Turlough.

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

A friend once told me that she and her mates had been caught in the pub during a school lunchtime. During an inquest back at school in the headmistress's office she was asked what she had been drinking. She replied 'Half a lager'. The headmistress then snapped 'And who had the other half?'

Thanks for reading Jenny and for sharing your own experiences.

Turlough

Submitted by celticman on

who has the other half indeed. the pub game is gone. new dawn. we'll not see it, but we're o'er the hill, still. elaine 'll gie us last orders. 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Pubs, music, football, Asian restaurants (which were never called restaurants in my day), people's attitudes to life, a notable absence of world wars and the planet itself which I've wandered about feeling quite safe... I've thoroughly enjoyed all these things but now they're all way past their best. So I like to think I picked the best time to be alive. Ed Sheeran's arrival is probably the strongest hint that I should be leaving soon.

Turlough

Submitted by D G Moody on

Classic Turlough! I never knew any Elaines - in Oz the Sheila's were usuaully on the other side of the bar; but sure, there was (then) a sort of contract between the young hoons and the pubs, with a line not to be crossed; shame that its now forgoten.

Dougie Moody

Submitted by Turlough on

Aye, it's all gone now. There's nothing more pleasurable or legal than a nice potta tea these days. 

Many thanks for your comment Dougie.

Turlough

Submitted by Tom Brown on

What is the legal age for selling alcohol? Very interesting idea I think that one could make the courts.

Cheers Turlough! Tom Brown (no not really ... 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Thanks Tom.

I don't know what the minimum age for buying alcohol in Britain is these days because I don't live there anymore but back in the days when I was sixteen it was eighteen... naughty naughty!

Наздраве!

Turlough

Submitted by Tom Brown on

No I meant the person selling alcohol, eg the waitress or barlady or the girl working cashier at the bottlestore, But I think they'll hit you there on child labour.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I suspect that's eighteen too. There was no danger of Elaine being underage in this respect.

Turlough