The Untold Story of a Grim Reaper: Chapter 22: Ethel

A hatred was growing inside of me. It was a beast that wore a crooked crown and ruled my every thought. It didn’t seem to have a direction… but it had a desire to become stronger. 

Phoebe and I walked ourselves back to the asylums’ parking lot. Phoebe looked left to right, watching the clouds race by us, “Something big is coming.”

“I don’t care,” I gave up on all concerns of what tragedy was befalling the living, middle, and after worlds. “I just want to find Aaron.”

“I can’t believe Cedric survived that long under possession,” Phoebe put her hood over her head, “I’m going to check on something at the Tomb’s, I’ll catch up with you later… okay?” I nodded but she kept this worried look, “Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded, Phoebe accepted my response and took her leave in a wisp of a swift evaporation. I mimicked Phoebe’s gaze upon the sky until I became distracted by the faint snickering of children. The lot was deserted but the laughter grew louder. 

Suddenly the laughter stopped, I played with my beltloop only to panic because I couldn’t feel my bag of stones. I frantically patted my pants and looked at the places it might have fallen off to, then the laughter chimed again. 

I turned around to find the same two little boys from Ethel and Julius’s living room standing behind me. The one on the left brought out his hands from behind his back, his palms were completely bandaged, and he presented my pouch. He shook the bag and teased. 

I shouted, “Give that back.” They didn’t make any reaction that they cared, “I mean it! Hand it over and tell me who you are.”

The boy to the right gave a big smile with his mouth still closed, humming a small laugh. The other boy joined in and their laughter turned into my grandfathers song. 

I stepped towards them lost by what they were doing, “What are you two?”

And like a hummingbird, they darted away from me towards the woods. Tossing my bag between them. As fast as I tried to run, they were getting farther and farther form me. I screamed as I chased them, “Please! Stop!”

They jumped into the shrubs of the thick woods. This was the kind of woods where the trees are a foot a part and separate highways. I crammed myself in after them but not even a step could be heard from their game.

I was about to lose it entirely when I saw a girl about the same age as the boys. She nearly blended between the trees, she looked like she was wearing a pale nightgown. Thin as the twigs and looking as sick as a corpse. She just stood and stared off to the west, her white hair tangled in the low wind.

She looked terrified, I stepped forward, saying gently, “Hello?” She snapped her look to me and I saw she was holding my pouch. I walked towards her confused and speaking more aggressively than I meant, “That’s mine!”

She looked down at her hands, seeming startled that it was in her hands. When I got closer to her, I understood that she wasn’t wearing a flowing nightgown… her torso and legs were just smoke in the wind. 

“Can I have my pouch back, please?”

She just shook her head in uncertainty to whether or not she could trust me. 

I stopped approaching closer and asked, “Do you know those two boys?”

She shook her head, “This… there… I…”

I reached for the hand holding my pouch but she jumped back and screamed, “Who are you? Where am I?”

I backed up, “It’s okay, I’m sorry. I think you need help.”

Almost whispering, “Those two boys?”

“So you can see them?”

“One of them handed me this and told me something. But I forget.”

I took one step closer to her, “My name is Noa. What’s yours?”

She backed away more, “I forget.”

“I promise I just want to help, I won’t hurt you.”

She squeezed my pouch close to her chest, “You’re scaring me.”

A little offended and self-conscious, “How so?”

“Your skin.”

“What about my skin?”

“It’s like hers. Like stone.”

I paused, momentary loss of words over what she meant, “Who are you?”

“I’m cold.”

“How did you get here?”

“The pretty lady with a big bird. She brought me here. Said she’d come back for me. The girl who looks like you.”

“Oh my god,” in shock, “Carolyna?”

She closed her eyes and shouted, “No! No! No!” 

She dropped my pouch and sprinted into the woods. Camouflaging into the thin trees. I pounced for my pouch and stuffed it into my back pocket

One of the boys bloomed from a bush, “Aw, no fair. She gave it back.”

I turned to the boy in the bush, “What do you want?”

The other boy sprung from another, farther shrub and informed, “We know something you don’t.”

Playing into their game, “Clearly.”

The boys began laughing to each other. They jumped back into their bushes, randomly reappearing in different places as they spoke in verses:

“Skipping stones.”

“Over broken bones.”

“A pond without water.”

“A father without a daughter.”

“She holds her stone to be reborn.”

“Needing to host one of recent mourn.”

“Cross your fingers.”

“And hope to die.”

“Pray she doesn’t find her.”

“So the devil won’t rise.” 

Then they stopped reappearing and not a sound stirred between me or the trees as I waited for them. I should have been paying more attention to what they were saying, I didn’t recall much of it and was angered by the thought that it might possibly help me.

Desperately, I wanted to be home. But as to where that was, I could never make clear to myself. Ethel’s and Julius’s home was not mine but I was at such a dangerous low that it didn’t matter to me anymore. Even if it was fake, I wanted to be with Julius and Ethel. The only two completely oblivious to what and who I am.

Following the wind currents of the October sky, I eventually arrived to the back porch. Tiredly, I opened the sliding door. Plopping down immediately at the kitchen table. I rested my head on the wood, spreading my arms straight across it. 

Ethel walked in, holding a candle. She announced, “Power has been acting funny, just want to keep a few candles out incase.” I lifted my head, giving a weak smile. She asked, “Is there something on your mind? Something you want to talk about?”

I sighed, “I do… but I can’t .”

She sat down next to me, “Well, in my years, the one thing I’ve learned is that often we already know the solutions to our problems. And the hardest decision is realizing that is our only choice.”

My finger scratched the table in frustration. Calmly, “I don’t know and I’m scared that by the time I figure it out it will all be too late.”

Ethel placed her hand over mine, “I believe in you.”

Unintentionally, I responded coldly, “How can you? You barely know me and I’m hardly around.”

She took back her hand and I wish I could take back my words as quickly. She closed her eyes and sighed, “I know you, Noa. I see a lot of myself in you. And in the little time we’ve known each other, it’s been obvious that your angry,” I looked away from her, she leaned her head forward seeking my eyes, “But I also know you’re very sad. And very, very caring. And that happens to many who care as much as we do. It’s hard for us to find others who care as much. And in return, we hurt.”

I confessed, “It has to do with Lilli… she’s an evil person.”

She laughed, “I hardly believe that sixteen year old girl is evil.”

I barked, “No,” Ethel seemed startled. I calmed, “She’s evil. And I’m done caring. I hate her and just want her to hurt as much as she’s made everyone else.”

Ethel sat back and looked disappointed, “And that will make everything end? That will make you feel better?”

“It’s not about what I feel, it’s about her getting what she deserves.”

“And with that mind set you will then get exactly what you deserve,” she stared at me harsher than I’ve ever seen, “Then you will become her.”

That was the strongest statement anyone had ever said to me in my time as a reaper. I let go of the tension in my shoulders and finally looked into her pale eyes, “Then what do I do?”

“I know that revenge will not help you and especially not help those you are defending.”

Pulling my hair in frustration, I responded weakly, “Then how?!”

She leaned forward to make sure I was listening, speaking clear and with loving intent, “Beyond Lilli, it’s important for you to know that fighting all the wrongs in the world, fighting all the bad in it, cannot be fought with hatred. That is exactly what evil wants. Hatred is what evil feeds upon. Hatred gives evil purpose. Evil has no concern if your its friend or enemy, evil simply consumes without remorse. You cannot fight evil with what it denies, love, and not with what it is, hatred.”

“Then how else do you fight someone like Lilli without intent of revenge?”

Her pale eyes stilled on mine, “Do you know what is stronger than defeating your enemy?”

I stammered, “Can’t say I understand the question. So… what is stronger than defeat?”

“Conquering. Having your enemy see eye to eye with you. Not just simply attacking them but having them agree with you. Conquering your enemy involves fighting it with a forgotten weapon.”

“And what is it?”

“Sympathy and compassion.”

“Why on earth would I give Lilli my sympathy and compassion?”

“So you don’t become her. Doing that isn’t as much for her as it is for yourself. So you’re the one that says when it’s over. Feel sorry for people like Lilli. If she’s as awful as you say, feel sorry that she does not know how to not be awful.”

A little confused, “I suppose.”

Ethel patted my knee and smile, “Be careful, Noa. We are tender spirits. Often much too hard on ourselves. But… we are often the only ones that will do something when no one else will. We can’t stand to see others hurt but that doesn’t mean we have to take it ourselves.”

She got up from her chair, walking towards one of the dustier shelves in her living room. She came back with a white, glazed plaque that had small amount of writing on it. She handed it to me and explained, “My brother gave this to me before he passed when we were young. He was terminally ill… because someone who should have taken care of him… did not. He made this for me because he knew how angry I was. How hateful I was to everything and everyone because I would lose him. He didn’t want me to hurt others because he didn’t want me to hurt anymore.”

I took the white plaque and placed it in front of me.  I stood and gave Ethel a hug, slowly feeling her weak arms return the hug. Feeling her breathe was comforting. No matter her age she smelt younger than any of the students at Mortimer Private. 

She kissed me on my forehead and parted towards the stairs, lastly requesting, “Do you mind running over to the house next door and dropping off the key on the counter? It’s the house with the sale sign. Someone’s interested in buying it and wants to look at the shed outback.”

“Sure thing.”

“Thank you, Noa. Dinner will be ready at seven.”

“Alright, thank you,” I looked down at the white marble and read the engraving,

 

And she loved the devil,

Not because she loved his ways,

But because her love was strong enough 

to bare his ways.

 

I thanked Ethel in a small prayer and grabbed the brass key. Out the front door, across the lawn, I walked until I noticed a familiar car. A red jeep with a large scratch on the passenger door. I knew that car. I couldn’t put my finger on it but the rush of déjà vu heeded more than just possibility.

Continuing over to the vacant home, I heard the chatter of women coming from the opposite side of the front door. It sounded like the relater was sealing the deal. I knocked on the door twice but my eyes were still glued to the car. When the door sprung open, I twisted my head to find the last person I thought I’d ever see again.

The word struggled to leave my throat as I uttered, “Mom?”