The Robot Virus

Lucy was in the bath when the Liberator virus struck; a netborne computer virus created by Islamic terrorists that made every robot in the country go haywire.
The robotic shower fitting that had been showering her back with water, suddenly rearing up like a cobra infront of her, sprayed water in her eyes and then wrapped its tentacle like hose around her neck trying to strangle her.
"Robert help me!", she tried to shout to her robot manservant but it was like he couldn't hear her or perhaps didn't want to.
"Robert", she shouted again, trying desperately and with slippery hands to unscrew the shower fitting from above the tap but feeling the shower hose tighten round her throat.
Thank god, then she saw the end of the shower fitting come lose in her hand, water gushing out of its socket and, tearing it from around her neck, she hurled it across the bathroom against the wall.
But then, startled, she heard her manservant Robert hammer upon the bathroom door.
"Lucy", he was saying, "Open the door. You're broken. You have to let me fix you".
Grabbing the side of the bath Lucy tried to clamber out of it quickly without slipping on her bathroom tiles.
"I'm not a robot, Robert", she shouted, "You're the robot. You're the one thats malfunctioning".
"No, Lucy", said Robert, pounding on the door again, "You're the robot. You've been infected by a computer virus. You have to let me fix you with my screwdriver".
Lucy shook her head. She couldn't believe what was happening.
"No, no, Robert", she said, "Listen to me. It's you; you're the robot. Stay away from me. That's an order".
But then, horrified, Lucy saw the lock on the inside of the bathroom door slide open.
"No problem", she heard Robert say, "I'll just use my magnet to open the door".
Lucy froze with fear as she saw the bathroom door slowly open and then the long screwdriver in Roberts hand.
But, backing away from the door, she noticed her standing towel rack and grabbing hold of it with both hands she swung it hard like a club against the side of Roberts head.
Clutching his head, Robert dropped the screwdriver on the floor and while he was bending forwards trying to pick it up she pushed her way past him into the upstairs hall.
"Lucy", said her artificially intelligent vaccuum cleaner from behind her, wrapping its nose like nozzle around her right ankle, "What a dirty girl you are. You need me to suck you clean".
But Lucy couldn't think about her crazy vaccuum cleaner, she was too worried about Robert who had picked up the screwdriver and was lumbering towards her.
Picking up the vaccuum cleaner she rammed it into Roberts face, hard.
"Suck this!", she yelled as the blow knocked Robert onto his back.
But then, seeing it nearby, she ran into her bedroom and slammed the door then started pushing her bed up against it while, reaching onto her bedside drawer, she picked up her cell phone.
"Police", she yelled into the phone which automatically dialled a number.
The voice of an old chinese man answered her.
"Jade Flower restaurant", he said, "Can I have your order please?".
But then suddenly she saw Robert ramming his way in through her bedroom door, easily pushing her bed aside.
"I'm very angry with you now, Lucy", he said, "You've been a very bad girl".
"Please help me", she screamed into her cellphone, "My robot is trying to kill me".
But the old chinese man on the other end didn't seem to hear her; he kept asking, "Hello?" and then Robert grabbed hold of her arm.
"No, please", she begged him.
But then, the next thing she knew, she was being bent forwards over her bed.
"I need to fix you, Lucy", he kept saying as she saw his shadow upon the wall raise a screw driver over her.
But then, suddenly, everything changed; then Robert opened the flap in the back of her and used his screwdriver to hit her restart button until she remembered that she was a Robot, Roberts robot.
"What happened, Master?", she asked as, turning her head, she looked up at him with wide eyes.
"There was a computer virus and you went crazy", said Robert, hugging her,"But you're better now".