depression

If I had known that this was the way it was going to be.
That my love for you would be tested, while you drain my personality away.
That after 14 years of the highs and lows, I would wake up feeling just a shadow of my former self.
With the spark that I once held in my eyes fading as quickly as a clear night sky.

It’s not all your fault you never asked for this, who would ask for such illness im sure is hell didn’t.
And while I sit back and watch, as its claws it way through our marriage, I render myself helpless because you just cannot reach me.

So while you bury yourself in your own self pity, and look upon me with resentment and guilt, I have to remember that the true you is buried in there alone.
I will keep trying to throw down the spade and shovel on the hope that one day you will dig your way out, but until then, I cant join you I will just wait patiently on the edge.

So I again I ask myself if I had known this was the way it was going to be, would I change a thing or continue on this road to misery.