Too Much

There's a look on the medic's face
that tells me the
questions I need to ask
are just too tempting.
I'll
hear far too much
be told everything I need to
know

so I resist
and we begin the
ritual
of how well I look
and how pleased they
are
as he struggles to tease villanous negatives

from innocent manilla
and when he tours across my
see thru flesh
with a useless biro
I Iisten as if
understanding
would make a difference
I wonder if
this is what it's like
to be up against a
wall
blindfolded and
wrist strapped
last
sensation the
smell of trigger burnt metal
as my
bobbing head like a lone duck
keeps rythmn with his secret

the one lying cocked and camoflauged
behind a well
practiced tone

I'm not sure if I will remain
standing
or if the temptation
to drop to my knees
before
the loaded missiles of haltering
phrases
telling me I'm lucky
It's at an early stage
will be
just too much