Bubbles' Proof Of Existence

Bubbles Proof of Existence

"In a constructive proof of existence," insists Bubbles, removing a Tootsie Pop from her mouth which she flourishes at her fellow Eighth grade students

"We not only prove that a thing exists, we find it and describe our method of doing so!"Moving to the blackboard she picks up a piece of chalk and begins, "Look at this example," She scrawls out the formula,

m=n+1

"N is a whole number, the sum of two whole numbers. Obviously, m>n is logical. Therefore, for any whole number I can find a whole number m=n+1 that is greater. In doing this, I not only prove that m exists, but I have shown you how to find it."

Bubbles stands victorious before the class, waiting for applause. The silence from her confused classmates however is all that she hears.

"What? I'm done Mr. Evans!" she disdainfully announces to her instructor, tossing the half-eaten lollipop into the trash for emphasis.

Mr. Evans looks up from his desk where he is doodling on Bubbles grade sheet and suggests, "Maybe, Miss Vintinner, you could show your classmates in practical terms what you mean by proof of existence."

Bubbles walks over to the instructor and speaks in a low tone,

"Shuh, Mr. Evans, I already did my report; it's not my fault those clowns don't get it! I don't think I should be punished for their obtuseness!"

"Bubbles, just explain it so your classmates can understand it...and so that I know you understand it."

"This isn't fair at all Mr. Evans, Jimmy Wheaton makes a stupid active volcano with baking soda, a third grade achievement by-the-way, and you don't ask him to explain it. He nearly poured vinegar on my new shoes too. Who'd be paying for my Birkenstocks if that had happened? The school? Yeah, right. Besides, I doubt Mount Vesuvius erupted because someone mixed vinegar and baking soda!"

"Stop complaining Bubbles and just show us a practical application."

"You want practical, okay, I'll give you practical!"

Bubbles walks over to Jimmy Wheaton's volcano and stands before it.

"Imagine that this stupid volcano is a whole number. To find out whether it really exists, or is the centerpiece of some horribly bad dream I'm having, you add one whole number to another."

Bubbles, picks up the bottle of vinegar and pours it over the display. She then grabs the box of baking powder and liberally spreads it over the vinegar. Tossing the empty box into the air she finishes,

"Voila, I guess this stupid volcano unfortunately exists, congratulations Jimmy."

The classroom erupts into a mixture of yells and laughter as the entire display foams, spilling a large quantity of would-be lava onto the floor. Bubbles saunters out the classroom door and down the hall to the Principal's office.

"What is it this time Bubbles?" greets the receptionist.

"We had a little disagreement about burden of proof, Mrs. Roberson."

"Did Mr. Evans send you?"

"No, just call it a pre-emptive strike. I'm sure he'll be down any moment now."

Bubbles takes a seat in the corner awaiting retribution. She thinks about her mathematical proof m=n+1, transposing the equation several times, trying to find a loophole to prevent the inevitable from taking place.