The blue and long lost

There runs the pain of school in timelessness.
It’s haunting still and keeps the memory spinning.
When dreams don’t come, the school bell’s ringing
still in the mind,
a young boys’ choir singing
still in the ear,
a teacher’s torments stringing
the scattered beads of near forgetfulness.

There is a buried fear still to address
that keeps the mind on edge,
is slightly clinging...
When it slows down, then darkness will be brimming
with loneliness.

The past is far and yet can every day
be fetched from storage, where it’s put away
in scattered heaps collecting dust:

Teenager years that pined for love and lust,
or fears unspoken changing into trust,
or loss without a cause, as skies betray
winds as they must.

And from afar to watch and play while learning
to walk erect and stroll around the ground
past others with their own dull yearning,
blind, running wild in circles round and round.

But late at night with little steps returning
towards home, where grounds are safe and sound,
and sometimes slipping
with emotions churning
by fears unfound.

Much time is spent on mountains with a view
or lonely roads
or shores where sand dunes spread for miles.

A mind tries to make sense, pursue
impressions, map them, trace a thread

and sometimes reaches a dead end, the blue
and long lost childhood ways instead.

Where from? Where to?