125 of my comments have received 127 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
Painful but sweet
Posted on Sat, 22 Aug 2015
Great story Silver. You've created an awful situation, tapped into some deeply uncomfortable emotions, but produced something that's ultimately life affirming. Terrific.
Agree with A on this: pace and structure are perfect and it does a great job at conveying the anxiety attached to cold judgements passed by others. We all know this is a world full of grey areas and nuance, but often we're judged on black and...
Lovely poem Silver. I like the way you convey the sense that we might try to concentrate our memories in objects that can then be discarded, but that we can never really do so. Short, bitter sweet and quite moving.
Painful, but so real. Captures the way that peer pressure contributes to emotional cruelty among children, and I like the way that you convey Clare's sense of shame without actually stating it. Well done Hayley.
... despite the concluding tragedy. There's a constant emphasis on the mundane but with a suggestion that it can bring just as much joy to a person's life as enduring discomforts in pursuit of over-indulgence. It might be a conservative message,...
I think this portrays a dramatic little scene in very vivid terms, and made me want to know more about the characters. It was a little frustrating in coming across as just a fragment of something larger, but id does convey the tension within the...
Very good. I really like the way you conveyed all the disappointments and little triumphs in a career with such economy. The short sentences work very well in the context and those scraps of detail do a great job of conveying the changes of...
Well done John. I found this a very vivid in evoking the mood as much as describing the place, and really impressed by that hint of something sour dropped in at the end. If anything, I thought you could have made a touch more of that, but still...
Painful but sweet
Posted on Sat, 22 Aug 2015
Great story Silver. You've created an awful situation, tapped into some deeply uncomfortable emotions, but produced something that's ultimately life affirming. Terrific.
Read full commentPosted in The X Factor
Excellent
Posted on Sat, 22 Aug 2015
Agree with A on this: pace and structure are perfect and it does a great job at conveying the anxiety attached to cold judgements passed by others. We all know this is a world full of grey areas and nuance, but often we're judged on black and...
Read full commentPosted in Result (Inspiration Point)
Sad and charming
Posted on Sat, 30 May 2015
Lovely poem Silver. I like the way you convey the sense that we might try to concentrate our memories in objects that can then be discarded, but that we can never really do so. Short, bitter sweet and quite moving.
One little point: I...
Read full commentPosted in Moving On
Ouch!
Posted on Sat, 28 Feb 2015
Prickly and painful in its emotions, but I like this for the way it conveys the harm we can do to each other through not talking.
Good one Basket Case.
Read full commentPosted in I couldn't ask, you wouldn't say.
Oooowww!
Posted on Sun, 01 Feb 2015
Painful, but so real. Captures the way that peer pressure contributes to emotional cruelty among children, and I like the way that you convey Clare's sense of shame without actually stating it. Well done Hayley.
Read full commentPosted in Growing Up
I like this ...
Posted on Sat, 10 Jan 2015
... despite the concluding tragedy. There's a constant emphasis on the mundane but with a suggestion that it can bring just as much joy to a person's life as enduring discomforts in pursuit of over-indulgence. It might be a conservative message,...
Read full commentPosted in Lucky For Me
Effectively vivid
Posted on Thu, 02 Oct 2014
I think this portrays a dramatic little scene in very vivid terms, and made me want to know more about the characters. It was a little frustrating in coming across as just a fragment of something larger, but id does convey the tension within the...
Read full commentPosted in The Distance Between Them
Excellent
Posted on Thu, 04 Sep 2014
Conveys so many old yearnings and frustrations in one brief incident. Well done Torscot.
Read full commentPosted in My little Indian in Summer (I.P.)
Well done SG
Posted on Thu, 20 Mar 2014
Very good. I really like the way you conveyed all the disappointments and little triumphs in a career with such economy. The short sentences work very well in the context and those scraps of detail do a great job of conveying the changes of...
Read full commentPosted in The End of the Pier
Well done John. I found this
Posted on Sat, 22 Feb 2014
Well done John. I found this a very vivid in evoking the mood as much as describing the place, and really impressed by that hint of something sour dropped in at the end. If anything, I thought you could have made a touch more of that, but still...
Read full commentPosted in That Field
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