“Do you think you could throw it like a boomerang?” “Huh?” So, we’re walking through the supermarket and this is what she comes up with: Do you think...
What she loved was the watch. Well, there were many things that she loved in that old workshop, out the back of the shop where it was musty and dusty...
Is she cold? No, I don’t think she is. I think it’s only the eyes. But I’ve seen them when they cry, and I’ve seen her full of anger, full of grief,...
Nobody knew which year it was going to be. There was much speculation, there were apps, there was betting, there were psychics who made proclamations...
38 of my comments have received 39 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
This story had so much going
Posted on Tue, 11 Jan 2022
This story had so much going for it, it was warm (sorry, had to go there), imaginative, kinda funny, and had some fascinating details about life in faraway or long-ago places. Very good voice, and a conversation style of writing breathed plenty...
The simplicity makes it scary, no monsters jumping out of closets or the like, just the sense of a presence and the feeling of a hand, but those details are scarier than an overt monster attack, and the horror was well-evoked.
Attention-getting title; and I like the modern voice that Menalaus has here. This blends the modern-day into the suggestion of the legend, whilst all the time feeling natural reading smoothly.
The sharp, economic wording really brought energy to this piece. You could feel the tension and momentum - kind of like lightning getting ready to strike.
Emotional and enlightening and with lots of truth, I think this will strike a chord with a lot of people who, even if they haven't been exactly there, have been somewhere quite similar.
This story had so much going
Posted on Tue, 11 Jan 2022
This story had so much going for it, it was warm (sorry, had to go there), imaginative, kinda funny, and had some fascinating details about life in faraway or long-ago places. Very good voice, and a conversation style of writing breathed plenty...
Read full commentPosted in A Hot Little Model from France
The simplicity makes it scary
Posted on Thu, 06 Jan 2022
The simplicity makes it scary, no monsters jumping out of closets or the like, just the sense of a presence and the feeling of a hand, but those details are scarier than an overt monster attack, and the horror was well-evoked.
Read full commentPosted in Ghost Story
Attention-getting title; and
Posted on Fri, 30 Jul 2021
Attention-getting title; and I like the modern voice that Menalaus has here. This blends the modern-day into the suggestion of the legend, whilst all the time feeling natural reading smoothly.
Read full commentPosted in Notes by Menelaus on Helen’s Abduction
Nice, catchy title to hook
Posted on Wed, 21 Jul 2021
Nice, catchy title to hook readers, and some significant points made in the poem that follows.
Read full commentPosted in Instead of throwing money at the sky
The sharp, economic wording
Posted on Sat, 12 Jun 2021
The sharp, economic wording really brought energy to this piece. You could feel the tension and momentum - kind of like lightning getting ready to strike.
Read full commentPosted in Storm, no rain!
Emotional and enlightening
Posted on Fri, 28 May 2021
Emotional and enlightening and with lots of truth, I think this will strike a chord with a lot of people who, even if they haven't been exactly there, have been somewhere quite similar.
Read full commentPosted in Mental awareness
Beautiful and elegant writing
Posted on Fri, 21 May 2021
Beautiful and elegant writing with a smooth kind of poetic arc to swing around and capture the trees and poets again at the end. Nicely done.
Read full commentPosted in In Conversation With Bears
skillfully done, dark, with a
Posted on Sat, 20 Jun 2020
skillfully done, dark, with a clever, unobtrusive rhyme. A lot captured in this small space.
Read full commentPosted in Tragedium
A well-worked rhyme that
Posted on Wed, 08 Apr 2020
A well-worked rhyme that doesn't ovewhelm the poem, and an evocative presentation of these two characters.
Read full commentPosted in Manky Panky
I like the rhythm this has,
Posted on Fri, 21 Feb 2020
I like the rhythm this has, and the kind of inspirational note that it finishes on, which is built up towards over the course of the poem.
Read full commentPosted in I've forgotten
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